


Say something

by JohnnyWinchester



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7073965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnnyWinchester/pseuds/JohnnyWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The apocalypse found you alone fighting for your life.Along the way you met people but all ended up dead.Now you're called to face the walkers on your own.Your luck hasn't run out as you find a haven,Alexandria and a good friend from the past who's always meant to be more.</p><p>ATTENTION!!!!! I RE-WROTE CHAPTER 5.GIVE IT A READ CAUSE I LOVED IT.</p><p>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/despoinak27 THIS IS MY TUMBLR.COME SAY HI...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You can't remember the last time you felt safe ,the last time you laid your troubled head without having to fear that your life ,at least as you know it ,will end any second now.A map ,a bottle of water and a few candy bars that you found scattered all over the convenient store ,are your only companions.Walkers can be heard approaching.You're not scared anymore. Its become part of your life.You pick up your knife stab them on the skull and carry on.You don't even have to think about it,you just do it,like breathing.Your previous group wasn't strong but you've grown fond of them ,enough to be sadden by their loss."Weak people aren't meant to survive "you keep reminding yourself. 

You turn your gaze up to the sun only to be met by its relentless warmth burning through your skin .You're covered in mud, blood, guts and god only knows what else .It's been too long since you've had a shower.2 weeks you've been roaming around alone.Your initial goal was to reach a sanctuary,one that seemed to have taken in many people .Terminus.A haven that instantly turned into a living hell.That's where the others died. When shots were fired and the walkers got in you found the chance to escape. You tried to save them but they wouldn't fight. They couldn't .You try to silence the voices in your head ,screaming at you ,letting you know that you should have done more ,that you should have trained them or protected them.

You take the road through the woods.You need the shade and a resting place.To your surprise ,you find a river .You pick out your 3 bottles, fill them up and sit under the protecting and cooling arm of a tree.One second.You closed your eyes for one second to rest.That's all it took to almost turn into one of them.You finally realise that you can't survive alone .You need someone to watch over you.You pick up your defeated body and carry it as a dead matter on the road.Where are you going ?You don't know .As long as it's human and safe.2 hours later you find yourself staring at a great metal gate.Uncertain of what may lay behind, you take a step back, turn around ,ready to head towards the opposite direction.Voices .And lots of them.Humans .Inside the gates.After terminus you had your doubts but you've been exposed for way too long out there .It wasn't just your body wearing off.It was your spirit and humanity that seemed to be abandoning you .You make a tight grip to form a first and raise your hand to knock on the gate.Nothing.Maybe it's a bad idea,you think to yourself. .Maybe you should just walk away.But youre too tired .You can't even bring yourself to make another step.The fact that you've been pacing the roads endlessly made your feet bleed ,signaling that any other movement would cause you excruciating pain.  
-"Put your hands up and leave your weapons to the side.NOW" A ginger headed man ,tall, with military posture stood up to the gates monitoring the area .He picked up his gun and aimed it towards you.You obliged to his command.You put your hands up while the man starts asking you questions .


	2. Chapter 2

"Who are you and how did you end up here?"You spelled out your name ,thinking that if you introduced yourself,he might take it easier on you.  
"The name's Ace.I got here by luck.Been wandering alone for the last two weeks.Im on my own."And suddenly it hit you.Everyone was dead ,but you got to live.Your watery eyes blurred your vision.Coming to terms with their loss was something that you've been avoiding ever since it happened.The man didnt respond at first.He told you to stay put.With the exhaustion having taken over,you try to rest your posture against the gate.

"Look kid,i cant let you in.Some members are out on a hunt.When they get back,we'll decide whether or not you can stay."  
"i understand."You sighed. His response and defensive attitude came to no surprise.Besides,to them,you were nothing but a stranger who could potentially compromise the members of the community and all they've worked for.You spot an empty car hidding in the shades.That will do while you wait.You open the door and place your self on the backseat.Your eyelids feel heavier than ever.Unable to keep your eyes open,you surrender to sleep's lurking call.The usual nightmares make their appearance.Their faces,their screams,how they told you to run ,to save yourself,despite their own demise.A sudden knock on the windshield awoke you.The red headed man was there to collect and escort you inside the community.

"Come with me.Im Abraham.Try any weird shit and you'll end up with a knife on your skull, got it?"You nodded affirmatively.  
He signaled and the gates opened.Your eyes widened at the sight of a functioning community still standing,as if nothing had ever happened.Children running around playing,care-free,grown ups sharing a laugh as if they were at a social gathering.Others picking vegetables and fruits from what seemed like a home-made garden.You couldnt shake the feeling that this community looked a lot like Terminus.Warm and welcoming at first sight,but a whole other story once you got closer.There was something different about Alexandria,though.Safer,more humane.As you're walking down the street you cant help but notice how everyone,including the kids,is armed."They must know what they're doing"you thought to yourself.

The converstation you had going on inside your head was abruptly interrupted by Abrahams tightened grip around your arm.He placed you before a house.You got called so you walked up the steps and knocked on the door to get in.All eyes were focused on you.The silense was defeaning.You could actually hear your heartbeat.Abraham seated you on a chair that was facing 12 maybe 13 people.A heavily bearded man stood up.He had blood and walkers insides all over him.The only thing you could tell was his bright blue eyes ,cutting their way into your soul.The "interrogation" has just begun.  
-"whats your name?"  
-"Ace."You kept your answer short.  
-"How many walkers have you killed?"  
-"Dozens.Ive lost track anymore."  
-"How many people have you killed?"  
-"32."Your answer surprised everyone.The man carried on with the questioning.  
-"Why ?"  
-"They tried to kill me.Or rape me and steal my things.Most though tried to eat me."Their initial concern got replaced by a reaction that made you realise they've heard that before.Could they have anything to do with the Terminus people?Could this be yet another trap?

-"Who tried to eat you?"  
-"Me and my group.We were travelling south.We came across a few people who told us about this sanctuary,terminus.How they were taking in others..Once we got there,we were offered food.In a matter of hours we were thrown into some containers.One by one they took my friends away.I was the only one left until someone attacked them.Walkers took over the place and i found a chance to run."  
-"Im sorry you lost your group.Where you heading now?"  
-"Nowhere.Im all by myself."  
-"If you want,you can stay here,with us."  
-"why would you trust me?"  
-"we dont.Yet.But we have to try." They started introducing themselves to you.It certaintly felt like home. Carol and Rick were talking about another member's abscence,Daryl's.At the mention of the name your heart stopped.You knew though,that it couldnt be him.The world is too big,what are the chances.A motorcycle is heard.  
-"Good.They're back.Ace you'll get to meet our other members." Your eyes were nailed on the door.2 people stepped in. Then the door opened again.

"ACE?" his crossbow fell from his hands.He stood there in utter shock staring at you.You mirrored his reaction and stared back at him.You both got teary and with no further ado,you embraced each other.You locked your arms around his neck.With uncontrollable force, he picks you off the ground , his hands are tight around your weist, kissing your face, apologising for leaving you behind.The words wont come out.You just cry and hug him.Alexandria wasnt your haven.Daryl was.Everyone stands there, watching you.He finally lets you down,still having his arms wrapped around you.Wiping off your tears, he says:-''God ,i thought you died back there.I looked for you , i swear i did.I went to your place and you were gone.Im sorry.Im so sorry."  
-"Daryl, it wasnt your fault.Its not like you knew the apocalypse would break down.I looked for you too..Oh my God i can not believe youre alive!!!"He hugged you again,all shaken up.  
-"Youre too thin.Sit down and eat somethin'"He was running all over the place asking Carol to cook something especially for you.  
-"Youre growing a beard?''you said jokingly.  
-"its not like i had razors packed."  
-"Suits you.Though you could use a haircut."  
-"really? i think i look really good" You couldnt have enough of each other.After finishing 3 plates of Carol's casserole, you and Daryl stand up to join the rest of the group.  
-"So,i take it that you two know each other."  
-"She's my best friend.well im 6 years older but we grew up in the same shitty neighborhood." The words, friend and Daryl, never sat well in you.With the apocalypse you didnt get to tell him how you always felt, but you were given a second chance now.  
-"Okay you could sleep over at Abraham's place.He's staying with Eugene and Rosita.You'll feel comfortable,having your own room."Rick said.  
-"No.She's stayin over at our place."Daryl responded.  
-"But there are no rooms left"  
-"She will sleep in my room."The guys gave him the "dirty" look.  
-''Come on,its not like that she's my friend."His words landed you back to reality.  
-"Okay,man.Its settled then.Goodnight y'all.And Ace...Welcome."Daryl picked you by the hand to lead you to your place.  
-"Wow,this is better than the house i could ever afford."  
-"i know right ?"  
-"So , where are we sleeping?''  
-"YOU are sleeping upstairs."  
-"What do you mean I?Where will YOU be sleeping?'  
-"ill get the couch." Was the thought of the two of you lying together in bed so appaling that he'd rather sleep on the couch?  
-"I didnt come here to steal your bed.I can go to Abraham's place."  
-"You dont have to."  
-"Well,you either come up to your room with me or im moving."  
-"Why you gotta be so stubborn?''  
-"Daryl Dixon, i wont talk about it any longer.Are you coming or not?''  
-"Fine.Lets go." You enjoyed a loong hot shower,let the water wash away the last two weeks. Having just a towel wrapped around your body, you enter the room only to find him looking at you.  
-"Is there something wrong?" you asked.  
-"No,nothing.You got anyhting to wear?''  
-"Nope." He searched around his things to find something for you to wear.He managed to get some clean underwear for you from Carol but he totally forgot about clothing.The truth is that you were excited to wear something that'd have his intoxicating scent on.  
-"It might be too big,but its all i can find.Tomorrow imma find you clothes."  
-"Thank you,Daryl."You reached up to kiss him on the cheek.He took a step back and left the room so that you could change.He knocked on the door,awaiting for your permission before entering the room.  
-"Ace,id better go sleep down" You grabbed his hand and said  
-"Please dont go.Ive been alone for way too long.Just for tonight.Stay."  
-"I can do that."he sighed.He waited for you to take a comfortable position before placing himself under the covers.You took his arm and locked it around you.Nothing,not even the walkers could harm the feeling of safety,of love you felt at that moment in his arms.Closing your eyes you breathe out:-"im home."


	3. Memory Lane

You've known Daryl ever since you were a little kid.Lying in bed ,with his arms wrapped around you protectively, you can't help but smile,remembering the first time you ever saw him.

Being raised by a single parent ,he knew that sometimes you're left to fend for yourself, even if you're just a 6 year old.One night your mother got drunk ,as usual,and left her equally drunk boyfriend to roam around the house freely.Not being fed through the day ,you made your way to the kitchen ,hoping that you'd be lucky enough to find some pb and j.You knew that when she got drunk,any kind of noise,at least any noise coming from you ,would awaken her ugly side as well.You picked a stool and tried to reach the bread.Her boyfriend stood there and watched you as he bottled down his beer.

You never liked him and that night he proved your instincts right.As a kid ,you couldn't process his actions ,but when he tried to kiss you ,a shiver went down your spine,ordering you to run as far as possible.He yelled in a drunken temper,but you didn't turn around to look.You managed to get out on the street when Daryl almost fell on you with his bike.  
That trip down memory lane, reminded you of your very first dialogue. 

-"You retard or something ?I almost hit you with my bike ?" He said while trying to fix the broken chain.He was about to yell when he noticed your tears.  
-"Hey,don't cry little girl.Didn't mean to scare ya.Why you here in the middle of the night ?"He stood before you ,covering moon's illuminating light.Wiping off your tears you managed to answer:-"My mommy fell asleep like every day and her boyfriend tried to kiss me ."  
-"What do you mean she fell asleep ?where was she when that happened ?"  
-"I was in the kitchen trying to make myself something to eat cause mommy forgot to feed me today and she was on the couch holding her bottle."  
-"Is he still in there ?"Even now you can remember the look on his face.How aggravated and overwhelmed he was.  
-"I run away cause I got scared .He's still in there."  
-"Where's your dad?"  
-"I don't have a daddy."He sighed and exclaimed  
-"Okay ,come with me and don't worry ."He grabbed your hand softly ,gave you his jacket and led you over to his place.  
-"Where you've been you little shit ?"Someone yelled and you instantly got behind Daryl's leg trying to hide.That boy,who looked scary at the moment said  
-"What's you got there ?Talk Daryl "  
-"Merle ,I found her on the street."  
-"Hey let me look at you doll.Don't be scared."He reached out his arm to get yours but you wouldnt leave Daryl's side.  
-"Wait, isn't that Angela's kid ?"Why she out this late ?"  
Daryl left you so that he could talk to his brother .Apparently he explained how she got drunk and that asshole tried to have his way with you.Merle stormed out of the house only to return half an hour later covered in blood.You could remember how bright the color was ,given that you've never seen so much blood before.Daryl,in utter shock ,said  
-"MERLE?WHATS YOU DO ?YOU KILL 'IM? "you started shaking and crying .  
-"No but I should've .I just taught him a lesson.Hey little girl,don't be afraid. He ain't gonna hurt ya again."Somehow you felt like you could trust him so you left Daryl's side and stood in the middle of the room ,having both guys attention.  
-"What's your name sweetheart ?"  
-"Ace"  
-"That's a very pretty name .Now, Daryl's gonna make you somethin to eat and I'm gonna bring you some warm clothes okay ?"  
'"Thank you very much ." 

 

You get all teary remembering him.Merle sure did have his temper issues but he didn't deserve to die.He was one of the good guys ,who's had a tough luck and lots of bad days.Daryl didn't say much but you knew that losing his brother must have changed him to a point of no return.

That night you slept in Daryl's room.They both checked up on you during the night ,just to make sure you'd be okay.That was the first time in your short life that you've felt safe,loved and wanted. They were left almost all the time alone,to take care of themselves .Merle was cooking ,cleaning, working,all to make sure Daryl would get a better shot in life.Their father, when he was around, he'd take out his frustration mostly on Merle.And that's what he wanted.He didn't want to expose Daryl to all this shit.One day though he couldn't stop their father .You find yourself trailing the marks on his back remembering his horrified face and screams while he was rushed by Merle to the Er.  
The sun is out.Though you didn't get much sleep ,you feel well-rested and tranquil.  
-"Ace ,don't be afraid. I'll always have your back."He kept that promise ,even after all these years.You close your eyes for a while ,sinking in the moment ,trying to take it all in.


	4. Prove your worth

Your mind is fuzzy, the last remnants of a dream being chased away by the realisation that youre awake. It was a nice dream, something about being happy and protected , but the details are fading fast as you try to recall them. With a mental sigh you allow your brain to focus and cautiously open one eye. The bright spring sunlight cuts the room in half and you see dust-motes dancing in the wall of light. You pull the duvet up over your head to keep it out. It's not going to work, your brain is awake now and already worrying where Daryl is.

As you stand up to find your way to the bathroom ,you stumble upon a note with Daryl's handwriting. -"Found you clothes.Carol made breakfast.Be back in a few hours." After finishing your morning routine ,you head towards the kitchen .There was no one around.Where could they have gone ?Is it usual to just leave their houses ?Your thoughts were your constant companion and that morning was no exception.Before finishing your breakfast you can hear a bike's "roar".Spontaneously ,you rush out of the house spotting Daryl along with some other members of the group heading towards the gate.They were about to go to a hunt and you wanted to be a part of it.

-"Daryl,wait."You managed to get through to him despite all the noise.He didn't seem particularly pleased to see you and you couldn't understand the reason why.He turned his bike around to get to you.  
-"Why are you up?You should rest !"  
-"I've had enough rest.I wanna help."

Rick stepped out of the vehicle and so did everyone else.They were now observing your interaction with Daryl.

-"You're not coming."He said in a strict manner causing you to react appropriately.  
-"You're not the boss of me.I can go wherever I want .I'm not gonna stand here and do nothing ."Drunk by anger ,you pace to Ricks car.Daryl storms out of nowhere and closes the door of the car which you had barely opened.

-"What's the matter with you?I can protect myself. "  
-"No you can't. THAT'S MY JOB...ITS ALWAYS BEEN..."And then you saw it.He didn't want to boss you or dictate what to do.He was never that kind of man.He just wanted to protect you.As much as you appreciated everything he's done ,you wanted to do something for the group.

-"Daryl.. Let go ..I'm coming with you."  
-"God damn it you're not.How am I supposed to focus on the walkers if you're around ?what if you get attacked ?"  
-"I'll kill em.Like I've been doing all this time.I'm not weak Daryl. "  
-"I'M NOT LOSING YOU AGAIN BETH."Everyone stood still in utter shock.You didn't know in details who that girl was ,but you knew that she had something special with the man you've always loved.Looking into his teary eyes ,you realise that he must have had strong feelings about her.Your heart is shuttered.How you wish he'd felt like that for you.

-"Daryl .....End of discussion"you said and entered the car, sitting right next to Glenn.

The drive was awkwardly quiet.They were throwing glances at you and then to each other.  
-"You know Beth was..."Glenn tried to explain but you interrupted :-"I know...Maggie's sister.Daryl's ..."You didn't know what she was to him , but giving her the title of the girlfriend wasnt exactly the easiest thing.

They didn't try to say anything else.You felt like everyone could see right threw your feelings.Everyone but him.Rick stopped the car abruptly.Walkers.A whole herd of them.You remember spotting one with your last group,right before you reached terminus.This one though was more concentrated and would definitely outnumber your last encounter .The noise they were making ,inevitably, attracted more walkers who found their way to your car.

Glenn though had the genius idea of concealing the windows with black drapes in case of an emergency.You could feel them hitting on the car ,trying to make their way to the rest.With your fingers on the trigger,you seem ready to fight them.Daryl ...He was exposed ...He was on his bike.He can't have gone unnoticed from the herd.You must do something.

-"Rick ...Daryls out there alone.We have to go out and help him."You whispered. Rick ignored you at first but after seeing you persistent ,he responded.  
-"We can't go out there.We'll die."  
-"So will Daryl. "He knew that you were right. It was only a matter of seconds before they got to him.You lift up the corner of the drape ,trying to evaluate the severity of the situation . It did not look good.You had to do something to distract them and get to Daryl. Your side seemed less crowded than Glenn's and Ricks.After letting Michonne know what you had in mind ,you storm out of the car,distracting the herd from its course. 

Probably that wasnt your smartest idea but it was enough to give Rick the time to reach Daryl and get you all out of there safe and sound.

Being squeezed in the middle ,with Glenn on your left and Daryl on your right you say  
-"I think you owe me a thank you."  
-"What for ?"  
-"Saving your life maybe ?"  
-"You made me leave my bike."At that point he reminded you why sometimes you wanted to grab his precious beautiful head and smack it against the concrete.

Once you arrived to Alexandria you distanced yourself from him ,knowing that any kind of effort to engage to a discussion would end up in yelling. Of course Daryl had to say his piece  
-"SEE WHAT WE FACED OUT THERE ?YOU COULD HAVE DIED "  
-"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?THE ONE WHO ALMOST DIED WAS YOU."  
-"WHY THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR ,HUH?THE WALKERS COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU.YOU CRAZY ?"  
-"I DID IT FOR YOU.SO THAT YOU WOULDNT DIE,YOU ASSHOLE. "  
-"WHO TOLD YOU I CARE ABOUT ME.WHAT WOULD I DO IF YOU DIED ,HUH?WHAT WOULD I DO?I WOULD DRAG YOUR BODY BACK AND BURY YOU?NO,I WONT HAVE THAT.I JUST FOUND YOU I'M NOT LOSING YOU AGAIN.  
-"Beth..."you completed his sentence.  
-"Huh?"he seemed confused.  
-"About the whole I can't lose you again part. ..You forgot to say her name." Your jealousy was too obvious to miss.  
-"Look...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to..."You covered your eyes trying to hide the tears .Daryl goes on and says  
-"You dont know what it was like out there.I had no one.I thought everyone from the group was dead.Do you know how many people I had to bury?Do you know how many times I had to say goodbye? "

-"Did you love her?"He stared at you,pausing for a while.  
-"I did....I don't know if it was love love...I just know that I cared about her. "He looked at you as if it was your turn to speak.  
-"Daryl ,you can't protect everyone. "  
-"I don't want to protect everyone.Just you."  
-"You know ...Ever since we were kids youve had my back.But I want to have yours.I want to protect you.Believe it or not ,you have people loving you ...And I'm one of them." The "I love you " was at the tip of your tongue ,ready to burst out, but somehow you managed to restrain it and say nothing.Besides ,it'd be the worst moment to let him know how you always felt given that he's just told you about his feelings for Beth. 

Rick decided to hold a meeting for all the members of the community. In light of current events ,with thousands of walkers migrating together ,you all had to come up with an idea to seal the community.

-"Before we begin ,I'd like to thank our newest member...Ace ,who saved us ,and mostly Daryl today."People started cheering and clapping their hands.Daryl took his place next to you ,hugging you and nodding along ,as if he was admitting your worth.  
-"Now.. We have to protect the community.Thousands of walkers are marching towards our gates.We can either distract them or seek refuge elsewhere.We should vote. " 

After what seemed like a long talk ,you decide unanimously to stay and fight. While you're about to call it for the night ,an orchestrated whistle can be heard out of the gates. 

-"Everyone ,grab your guns. We have guests."Rick said.


	5. Man of the hour

-"ABRAHAM ,ROSITA,CAROL GO GET THE GUNS.CAAARL. "The teenage boy rushed to his father's side.

-"Take Judith and all the other kids.Protect them."

-"Dont worry dad.I got this."

Carl might be a young boy ,but he's shown courage and perseverance like no other.The way he's protecting his sister and caring for her, made you realise there are more at steak than what you thought. 

A war is raging out of your gates .And with the walkers marching right to Alexandria ,you know that there's no time for negotiations.Blood shall be spilled .Lives will be lost.That's how you survive in the new world.You kill or you get killed.

-"Go with Carl and stay there.I'll come when it's safe."Daryl’s out of breath ,since he was running around trying to help.

-"I can't leave.You need people to fight.I'm not giving up."

-"Please go and protect the kids.Carl can't handle it all on his own.I know you can fight but please go." 

His eyes made the most convincing arguments.You run to Ricks house ,where the kids were hiding.

An explosion is heard.Instinctively ,you run to the kids wanting to make sure they're safe.You promised Daryl you would.

-"Carl open up, its Ace."

-"What was that noise."

-"Don't know.But it cant be good."

-"They tryin to get in.I won't let them hurt Judith."His eyes nailed on the door ,his finger on the trigger.That boy must have been through a lot.

-"Don't worry.Your dad knows what to do."

-"I know."

-"EVERYONE grab your guns and get ready.THEY'RE IN."

You try to fight the urge pushing you out of the door and right next to the group.You choose to wait for a little longer ,hoping that things wont be as bad as they seem.

You get to the window.There's not much you can see.The explosion caused many of the houses to turn to dust.It was obvious ,though, that a large group of people got in.

Where is everyone?

-"Carl,wait here.I'll go see what's happening. "

-"Don't. "He spells out.

-"Carl... I know you can protect them.I promise I won't let them get to you.But I have to help."

-"Okay."He nods.

With very cautious moves ,you open the door and hide at the porch ,right behind a plant.

You cant believe your eyes.

Rick ,Glenn,Maggie,Abraham ,Rosita,Carol,Eugene are all kneeled one next to each other.You pull your head out trying to find Daryl.He’s nowhere to be seen.All of a sudden you start fearing for the worst.

Rick’s face is blank,his otherwise bright blue eyes pinned to the ground.His world is shuttered,all strentgh and confidence stripped away.

-"Pissing our pants yet?"

He walked and placed himself before your kneeled down group, while his men were starring at him as if he’s a god.The first thing you notice is his baseball bat.Barb-wired with blood and bits of flesh “decorating”it. His black leather jacket is hugging his figure while his black hair slicked back make it easier for everyone to notice his maniacal grin. 

KILL THEM ,KILL THEM ALL ,LIKE THEY DID TO OUR PEOPLE.

BURN THEIR FACES AND THROW THEIR BODIES TO THE WALKERS.

An ifuriated crowd breaks the silence ,demanding nothing but blood and death.And he,as the gracious leader he seems to be ,will oblige.

He stood still for awhile.With one gesture ,the crowd gets silent.

-”Pissing our pants yet?’’

“-Okay whos the fucking leader?" One of his men pointed to Rick.

“So...You are fucking Rick.Nice to meet you.Im Negan.”You can tell,even from this distance,that hes overly fond of himself.

“Rick.I have to admit it.You killed a lot of my men.More than im fucking comfortable with.In fact,when i sent my people to kill your people for killing my fucking people, surprise ,surprise...What do you do?Kill more of my fucking people!!! Not cool.Rick.”He lets out a gutteral laugh and adds:

-”Not cool at all.You’re gonna pay.Oh yeah.You are so gonna regret fucking crossing me.Yes you are.” You move closer so that you can have a better view of them.Negan’s eyes are sparkling with excitement.Anitcipation is written all over his face.

 

He tenses his posture,grabs his barbwire bat and swings it.

-”This is Lucille,And she is fucking fuckidy awesome.”

 

Two men,with half of their faces burnt , carry aggressively Daryl and force him on his knees.He appears to have been shot and hit by them.The moment you're ready to step out and rush to his side,Carl grabs your arm and stops you.You are now both watching from distance .

 

-"Yeah, I forgot.We got one more of your fucking group.This one's a little hurt but he'll live.Probably. " 

-”Now...Where was I ?Oh yes.You heard my people.What kind of a leader what i be ,if i didnt fucking meet their demands?” The crowd cheers and laughs,completely ignoring the fact that dozens of walkers are probably heading to Alexandria.

 

Your heartbeat gets faster by the second.You dont want any of them “getting the honor.”

Negan takes his time.The cocky bastard.At least Rick and his group had some guilts for killing his men.They,on the other hand,are just bloodthirsty animals.

 

-”I have the best fucking idea.I swear to my almighty meaty dick,we’re gonna have so much fucking fun.Eeny..” he chuckles tauntingly as he holds Lucille over Rick’s head.

Meeny. No,not Maggie,you think to yourself..

Miny. Abraham doesnt even blink.

Moe.Rick lets out a gut wrencing gasp,as Lucille is now facing Michonne.

Catch...A tiger... Daryl doesnt deserve an end like this.None of them do.

By..his toe... Sasha holds her ground ,refusing to give him the pleasure of her fear.

If..He hollers... Aaron cries but you know its not the fear of death ,but the fear of not having said goodbye to Eric that makes him cry.

Let him go... The bat faces Carol.

My mother...Told me... It was Carl’s turn.

To pick ..The very best one... Eugene covers his face.

And you... Glenn.

Are... Rosita.

It... He pauses before Daryl,almost dramatically,only to say:

 

You can breathe,you can blink,you can cry.Hell,you’re all gonna be doing that.

-"NOOOOOOOOOOOO. .. "you couldn't just stand there and watch.Your scream made Negan stop .He smirked and asked you to approach him. 

 

-"Well,well...Who do we have here ?You're a fucking beauty you know that ?"He said as he run his fingers through your hair.

-"LEAVE HER ALONE YOU FUCKER ".Daryl reacted and tried to divert Negans attention from you to him. 

 

-"Fucker?"He grabbed the bat and gutted Daryl.You let out a scream which seemed to have pleased Negan.

-"Okay some rules .I'm the only one allowed to say fuck.Got it ?"Everyone nodded affirmatively.

-"You got a nice place here.Change of plans. You give us your fucking community and we don't fucking kill you."Rick stares back at Negan expressionless. He doesnt know what to do.

-"You're not getting our community."You'd rather die than compromise the whole group ,and mostly Daryl.Plus Judith wouldn't last and with her cries she'd expose everyone.

-"She's got some balls.You sure you're the leader Rick?"Negan paused for a second.

-"Okay.We get her and you keep your community.Deal?"  
Daryl tried to stand up ,reacting to Negans proposal.

-"Relax champ.We're gonna treat her fucking fine.So what say you?" Daryl was trying to convince you to turn it down.Looking at Rick though,you knew there was no other option.

-"I'll come with you and you leave them alone?"

-"Sure princess ."Negan smirked.

-"NO. You can't go.Don't do this."Daryl couldn't keep his tears.

-"I have to."You kissed his cheeck and left with Negan and the saviors.

You turn around and see the others trying to hold Daryl from running after you.

-"You're better off with us princess ."Negan says.

He started a war .One that you were more than willing to fight.


	6. Saviors

On the way to the saviors community ,you try to absorb and memorise every detail ,hoping that when you'll escape ,it'll be easier to lead your group to them.Your....For the first time in your life you felt part of a family and you were willing to protect that family no matter the cost.

You can feel Negans eyes scanning you.He's formed a tight grip around his barbwire bat and smirks,probably to show off his power or intimidate you.All you care about ,though , is what happened to the ones left behind.How are they coping with your "removal "?How's he coping ?Your thoughts are interrupted as the truck stops and the saviors ,as they like to call themselves ,demand that you follow them.You refuse to do as you're told .Negan places himself behind you and whispers:

-"Come on princess.I'll show you a good time here." Your eyes filled with disgust wasnt a strong indication of how you truly felt about them and especially him.

-"Don't call me a princess.And if you try to show me a good time,ill grab that bat of yours and show you a good time." He licked his bottom lip ,smiled and got closer to you.

-"If you ever talk to me like that in front of my fucking people ,ill fucking kill you .Got it ?" He was definitely enjoying himself.You rolled your eyes and followed them inside the walls. 

Meanwhile in Alexandria .... 

The aftermath of the saviors brutal attack left no one unaffected. Rick and Daryl were butting heads over who's to be blamed for Ace's departure,while the rest were trying to care for the wounded and barricade the community.

-"SHE LOOKED AT YOU.SHE TRUSTED YOU AND ALL YOU DID WAS LOOK DOWN YOU COWARD." Their verbal altercation turned into a physical one in a matter of seconds.Carl rushed to hold his father while Abraham tried to keep Daryl from attacking Rick.

-"WHAT SHOULD I'VE DONE ,HUH?YOU THINK I WANTED TO LET HER GO ?WE HAD NO CHOICE DARYL AND YOU KNOW IT !"

-"WHAT IF THAT WAS MICHONNE ,HUH?WHAT IF THAT WAS CARL OR JUDITH ?LIKE HELL YOU'D LET THEM TAKE THEM AWAY.YOU'D FIGHT.BUT I GUESS YOUR FAMILY GETS ANOTHER TREATMENT ." 

Ricks angry eyes changed.He realised ,like everyone else ,that Daryl was right. What kind of leader leaves a member behind ?The desperate one?The coward one ?Or the right one ?  
-"Daryl...."  
-"Let go...."Daryl said as Rick tried to reach for his arm .

-"We'll get her back. I promise ."  
-"Sure."Rick justified Daryl's ironic response.

-"You can wait here.I'll go get her."Daryl was still bleeding but he didn't have time to deal with this.Ace was his priority. 

-"Daryl...There are walkers coming this way.We need to protect our family ."

-"My family is out there.My family is probably wondering why I'm not there to help her." Carol approached him.She was the only one Daryl would care to listen to .

-"You know she's a fighter right ?She did the right thing for the group.Any of us would have done it.We're getting her back. But we won't be able to do that dead ,now will we ?"  
Daryl decided to stay and help to protect the community. 

Glenn and Maggie came up with a plan.They put three layers of metal to make sure that the fences would hold up.They used lots of car horns to produce noise and lead the walkers away.Carl Judith and the other kids stayed in the house.The rest of the group watched over.

Daryl seemed lost.His thoughts were on Ace.What if that's the last time he saw her ?he didn't even get to tell her how he feels about her.How he always felt.Sure Beth awoke emotions he hasnt experienced in a long time ,but Ace always had a special place in his heart.He knew though that all they could do that day was to wait for the herd to pass.Then ,he'd be able to go look for her.

 

You now realise why Negan smirks and is so cocky over his power.There must be more than 200 people here.How on earth would you be able to defeat them?And the guns....It's like they stole Americas whole fighting equipment. Maybe Negan was an army general or something.

As you make your way through the members of their community you can't help but notice how "humane " they look.There are children and babies and whole families.What a contradictory man Negan is.

He doesnt leave your side,trying to make it clear that you are HIS guest and nobody else's. Many women are throwing death glares at you. Could it be that you and your group killed their people ?

Negan stops before a big trailer.He leaves you alone for a minute or two.Things were getting more awkward as you stood there waiting for something you didn't even know what it was .

-"Come on in."He held the door of the trailer open as you made your way in.

-"Make you self like fucking home. "  
-"You say fuck a lot."you point out.  
-"It's a nice word, don't you thing ?"  
-"No,I don't. "  
-"Well I fucking do ."He smiled and took off his jacket.Offering you something to drink ,he said:  
-"What's your name ?"You didn't respond at first but with his eyes pinned on you ,you had no other choice.  
-"Ace."  
-"Fuck me.I've never heard that before .Daddy liked cards ?"  
-"Haven't met him so..."

-"Well ,never had a good relationship with mine but grew up fucking fine. "You rolled your eyes wondering if that's his definition of "fine".  
-"Why did you want me to be here ?" He stood still for a while.After drinking his whiskey, he slams the glass with force on the table . His smirk made you feel exposed,as if you were naked and he was observing you.

-"Because he wanted you ."  
-"So,if a man wants someone you want them for yourself ?"  
-"When a man wants someone that bad,it means that that someone must be worth it."

-"You know this makes no sense,right ?"  
-"From our conversation so far ,I say it does.We gotta find you a place to sleep.Where the fuck should I put you?" 

Fearing that he'd actually make you sleep in his trailer wasn't unreasonable.He kicked the door open and screamed for a man called Dwight.You remembered him from the attack back in Alexandria.He was the man who carried Daryl's crossbow.The man with the half burnt face. 

-"Pack your fucking stuff.She's getting your trailer."

Both you and the man were staring at Negan speechless.He was willing to remove one of his men for your own comfort ?Dwight didn't react.He knew that Negans word was the law.

-"You need your place. I can't put you with any of my fucking people yet."  
-"You scared I'm gonna hurt them ?" You found yourself closer to him.  
-"No...I'm afraid they're gonna fucking hurt you."

You were given clothes ,underwear and everything you needed .Oh his way out ,Negan locked you .Little did he know that when your bodies got closer you managed to grab a key from his pocket.You turn off the lights and wait for everyone to fall asleep. All you need is the key to be the right one and you're on your way back to Alexandria.


	7. I don't belong here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy the story so far ...If so,please do let me know !!!

-"WHERE THE FUCK IS IT ?SPEAK OR ILL FUCK YOU UP WITH LUCILLE." 

Negan's screams awoke the whole community.You were still locked in the trailer so you couldn't tell exactly what was happening or who was the recepient of his threats.Lifting the blinds you can see Dwight on his knees ,begging for his life with tears in his eyes.If he's that easy to hurt his own people ,what could he possibly be willing to do to others?

-"I SWEAR NEGAN ID NEVER STEAL THE KEY FROM YOU." You start getting sweaty and nervous realising that you in fact stole the key from Negans pocket the previous night.Apparently it was important to him.

-"You suggesting I fucking dropped it ,huh?I'll fuck you up you fucking shit!Don't fuck with me." He said while punching Dwight with force to the ground.He refused to stand back up and instead lied there with his blood creating a small puddle.Nobody reacted.Negan just beat the "Holly hell "out of one of their own ,and they just stood there.Whats wrong with these people ?

He grabbed Lucille ,swirled it around and said:

-"You have one fucking second to tell me where the key to the armory is.After that ,I'll fucking kill you and feed you to the walkers." 

You hated them but you couldn't carry a man's death on you. Negan was a tough man with unpredictable behavior ,so you were really risking getting Lucille'd, but you had no other choice.You start banging the door of the rv, trying to get Negans attention.After a while, he notices you.

-"I'll be back.Don't fucking move."  
He unlocks the door and asks you to step out and witness along with the others what happens to the ones who steal and lie to him.Your heartbeat gets faster.You can feel your breath shorter with every step.Facing Dwight ,covered in blood and dirt, made you realise that soon you'll be lying in his spot. 

Negan grabs his bat and points it to Dwight. His eyes are empty. No hate,no aggravation ,no regret....Nothing.

-"WAIT. I STOLE THE KEY."Dwight took a deep breath of relief.You,on the other hand,counted your last seconds on earth,for you knew that punishment was about to come.He tilted his head and with confusion in his dark eyes said :

-"Ace....I know you didn't fucking take the keys ...You're not that fucking stupid...Are you?"His usual smirk got instantly erased when he looked at you and realised you spoke the truth.

-"I took the keys.I thought I'd lock myself out and go back home." You refused to cry or beg for your life.If you were indeed to die in a matter of seconds ,you were gonna spend them being brave and honest. 

Negan dropped Lucille and approached you.His voice was smooth and soft.

-"I told you ,I'm gonna treat you fucking fine here.Why try to run away ?" Did he actually want you there ?His wives weren't enough ?What was it about you that made him show his "humane"side?

-"I don't belong here.I need to go back to Alexandria. I need to go back to...I need to go back to Daryl."His eyes displayed anger.He caressed his salt and pepper beard, took a deep breath and exclaimed :

-"You are part of the fucking deal.If you leave ,I kill them all.. Fucking get it ?" 

Dwight managed to stand on his feet with the aid of his friends.He mumbled something ,but unfortunately for him, it didn't escape Negan's attention. 

-"The fuck you said ?" Dwight was still shaken up from his near death experience but said his piece:

-"You gonna risk our lives for this whore? " Negan was still turned facing you and you could tell that he was going to kill Dwight.But you didn't need anyone standing up for you.  
You approach Dwight and slap him so hard he falls to the ground. Negan looked proud .

-"I'm not a whore you piece of shit.I want to be here as much as you want me here .So shut the fuck up and make yourself useful. "Negan tried to grab your arm,but you just wanted to distance yourself from all of them. 

You banged the door of the rv closed and buried your face between the pillows. Why did you have to be part of the deal ?Why does Negan want you so bad ?

-"Can I come in ?" Negan said while knocking on your door, which surprised you cause in other cases he'd probably barge in without asking. 

-"It's open." You responded.

Wiping the tears form your eyes you find yourself just inches away from Negans face.

-"Why the hell do you want me so bad ?Don't you have enough wives to fuck ,huh?What the hell do you want from me ?" He stood silent licking and biting his lips.You could see the vein on his neck beating in total sync with his heartbeat.  
You reflected his reaction and bit your lip.Were you attracted to this guy ?There was a raw vibe when you were standing close to him. 

In a matter of seconds he grabbed you and pressed his lips on yours.Softly at first.He let you take a breath before shoving his tongue into your mouth.You wanted it to stop.You wanted to push him away, but your body seemed to be reacting differently. 

He pressed you closer to him,making you feel the heat and the extend of your close contact.He moaned,causing you to want him even more. He combed your hair with his fingers, sending electrifying vibes all over your body.He didn't stop kissing you and you responded to his kisses.

He pulled away for a second to observe the details of your face. That grind of his made you lose control.You grabbed him and kissed him with force.He lifted you up and threw you on the mattress. 

You have never been with a man before ,so you felt scared for having that first experience with a man like Negan.As he was taking off his clothes, you realised that he's not the one you want.You just got carried away.

-"Did I do something wrong ?"  
-"No."  
-"Then why the fuck did you stop me ?"  
-"Cause you're not the one I want ."He stormed out of your rv, leaving you alone to deal with the effects of your action.


	8. Family

"Happy birthday to you ,happy birthday to you ,happy birthday Caaarl boy ,happy birthday to you."  
There was a festive atmosphere in Alexandria.The whole family was gathered in Rick's home.Carl had the widest smile ,being surrounded by people he could only account as his own.Judith had her rightful place right next to him ,smiling and giggling at her brothers equally happy attitude.

Rick had his arm wrapped around Michonne's waist.They'd look at each other and then at their kids ,unable to believe how they even got this far.Rick cried as his only son blew off the candles ,remembering that he almost lost him two times.Despite missing his eye,Carl was a healthy 16 year old boy who was enjoying life and making the most of it.Enid kissed Carl and gave him his present.On the previous hunt ,she convinced Maggie and Glenn to let her follow along ,hoping that she might find something suitable for her boyfriend. 

-"Enid,where did you get this ? Thank you so much !" It was no secret that Carl had a soft spot for comic books.Enid managed to find a very rare issue of his all time favourite comic series called :"the fallen ."

-"There's no match for Enid's gift but I wanted you to have this." Rick handed a picture and an envelop containing a letter ,addressed to his son. 

Carl's smile cracked as he saw his mother holding him when he was a baby. He couldn't hold his tears and rushed to open the letter.

-"Carl ,my sweet sweet boy. You are the best thing I ever created.I want you to be strong .I want you to be happy. I want you to live.If you're reading this ,it means I died in birth and your father gave you the letter.My heart aches as I write these down ,cause I know how hurt you must be.Wipe off your tears baby and be happy. You're alive .There's nothing more I could ask for.I love you with all my heart.  
Your mom,Lori."

 

He let out a loud cry.All this time he had the memory of his mother repressed in the back of his head.He wouldn't allow himself to remember her ,simply because it hurt too much.Ricks watery eyes were communicating with his son's. He didn't know what to do ,but he had promised Lori ,back in the farm,when she found out she was pregnant, that if anything happened ,he'd let their kids know that she didn't leave them because she wanted to.

Carl picked up Judith who seemed confused by her brothers reaction. He hugged and kissed her before saying :  
-"Thank you all for the birthday wishes.Judith is what my mom left behind.She gave her life for her and I know why.Because she loved her even though she never got to meet her.I held her before she died and I can still remember her eyes and how she wanted ME to be okay.Mom ,if you're listening, we are happy ,we are still alive.I'll protect Judith with my life if I have to. Mom...I love you."

After an hour of remembering Lori ,and all those who died along their way to survival ,Carol put on her brave face ,held back her tears as Sophia's name was mentioned ,and started serving everyone her delicious food. 

-"To our friends who are in a better place. "  
-"To us...."  
-"To being alive ."  
-"To being in love." 

They said as they raised their glasses. The house was filled with laughter and loud voices.

Daryl walked in ,holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand.His eyes were red from too much crying.Carol tried to pull him aside ,but he jerked away from her ,making his way to the center of the room.

-"TO FAMILY ."He screamed out while bottling down his whiskey.  
-"TO LEAVING PEOPLE BEHIND.TO SURVIVING ,WHILE OTHERS DIE.TO GIVING UP ON PEOPLE ."

Daryl couldn't believe how they were celebrating while Ace was forced to live away from Alexandria .Away from him. Rick ,as the leader ,let the other members know that he'd handle it.Making his way slowly to Daryl he said :  
-"You're drunk Daryl. Go rest."  
Daryl gave him a smirk.  
-"Why officer ?Am I being arrested ?"  
-"Daryl ..." 

He took a look around .Everyone was looking at him.They felt sorry for him.He despised that.He despised them. 

-"Watcha looking at huh?Don't ya all have to play it happy family or something ?Who gives a fuck about Ace ,right ?I mean she's nothin but a stranger to you.Your people are here.Life goes on ,right ?"

Maggie tried to approach him but failed miserably. There was just too much building up and he had to let it out .

-"That stranger ,that girl ,went with the enemy so that we could be doing . ..what ?Eating cake ?Remembering the dead ?I'll let you know about the dead ..  
Hey Rick ,remember Shane ?Your best friend ?He kept your family alive while you were in a fucking coma .And Lori ?You made her feel like fucking trash ...You pushed her away and let her her deal with the baby on her own.And Dale ?You wouldn't even listen to him. My brother ,Merle ?He wasn't worth the trouble for you." 

Rick held his head down. But Daryl wasn't done.It was Maggie's turn.

-"Hey Maggie .. Remember your dad ,Hershel? How he kept us all alive and then got his head cut off cause Rick wanted to fucking talk ?Or Beth ?"His voice breaks but he refuses to stop. 

-"Your sister ,Beth.The young girl who looked up to you.Who believed in good even after all the shit she's been through. How she'd sing Judith to sleep ?Remember that Rick ?When you didn't even want to hold your daughter cause you were too busy mourning the wife you hated so much !!!Remember how she always believed that things can get better ?I remember how she made me believe there's still some good left in the world.But hey ,let's drink to them.I'm sure they're rotting somewhere under the cold ground and they're fucking happy about it,cause they're in a better place. "

-"Hey Carol ,remember Sophia ...How you left her alone and she died in the forest wondering why her mom didn't even bother to protect her ?" He threw his bottle down causing it to break.Judith started crying and with Ricks signal ,Michonne took Carl and the baby and left the room.

Still in shock of what they heard, Carol breaks down and cries ,realising that her daughter will never turn 16, that she will never bake a cake for her or see her grow up.Maggie ,infuriated ,sprinted to Daryl and slapped him. It was her turn to speak. 

-"Carol is your best friend.She loves you with all her heart and you call her a bad mother.Guess what Daryl we've all lost somebody in the fucking apocalypse but we don't go around blaming each other."

-"Maggie.. I gotta get her back. " 

Carol stood up and marched towards Daryl. He seemed uptight ,realising that he broke the heart of one of the few people he truly loves and love him back.Instead of yelling or slapping him ,the way Maggie did ,she grabbed him and hugged him tighter than ever.She didn't let go,not even for a second,as if all their broken pieces would stick back together somehow and they wouldn't feel so much pain.

-"Look at me Daryl. I will never forget how much you tried to find my baby Sophia.I will always be grateful but you have to let her go.It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault." 

Carol could somehow read Daryl .He didn't have to speak any words.Their eyes did all the talking.He realised that he was still holding himself accountable for Sophias death..For Beth's death.He felt as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.Carol made him see that it's a huge weight.And it needs to be shared.

-"We are getting her back.I promise .Even if that's the last thing I'll ever do.We are getting Ace back.On one condition."

-"What"

-"You tell her how you feel and you be happy Daryl." Carol kissed his forehead and took him for a walk around the community. Nobody held a grudge against Daryl.Besides ,he is family.


	9. Animal I have become

-"Ace ,you ready to go ?" A knock on your trailer's door got you on your feet. Every other day ,you and a bunch of "fresh blood ",as they called them ,would leave the compound and search for food and meds.

Negan had a system,one that you could only describe as brilliant.Due to the large number of people gathered ,he decided to create small teams within the community.Each team has a leader ,assigned directly by Negan.The rest,called "civilians ", are obligated to do as their told ,otherwise the leader has the right to either isolate them and ask for a member from another team ,or kill them. 

He knew though ,that giving that kind of power to people he barely knew, was a risk.That's why he introduced "the trials ", a series of tests to see who's made of what.The night you were given your title ,he confessed he didn't think you'd make it. He was surprised by your courage and strength, both physical and mental.You can still remember how proudly he stood before everyone and recounted the moment you saved him and his men from a large group of walkers. 

Leaders all live together with their trailers lined one next to each other.By the end of each hunt ,you gather and share details ,new methods and tactics and assess your civilians. The team that manages to gather more than anyone else ,gets to keep half of the stuff. 

1 month now you've been winning with your group,which upset all the others .It wasn't the fact that your group was proven to be the most efficient .It was the fact that you were an all female team.Negan hated the way his men thought themselves to be better" just because they have a fucking dick hanging between their legs ",as he liked to say. 

Civilians were forced to keep a distance from the leaders territory ,unless there was an emergency.You didn't agree with Negans approach on that matter ,but you couldn't question his authority. 

-"Jade ,grab your gun.We gotta go."

Your crew was strong , manned with young, fierce women, more courageous than the majority of the men.Jade was barely 16 ,that's why you always had to keep an eye on her.Rebellious by nature ,a free spirit ,that refused to obey to any rules. She had lots of tattoos, one though got your attention. A line of barbwire broken and chopped to the center ,with a bloody arm reaching out . She told you on your last hunt that it symbolised how sometimes you need to break your chains and reach for your freedom even if you get hurt along the way.

-"Which road are we taking this time?" Amarise said.She was around your age ,mid 20's.Brunette, with delicate facial features. By the looks of her ,you thought she'd be a dumb girl who survived by luck.Appearances can be deceiving ,though, as she proved to have a brilliant mind and military skills and training.

-"Okay girls gather up.We took the 9/11 in the last hunt.We cleaned the route 69 and the 54th.Let's head to 56."

They exchanged glances uncertain of your decision. You swinged your bat and waited for one of them to speak up. Negan had the brilliant idea of turning you into his female version.Leather jacket,your own bat which you customised by hammering nails on it and then placing barbwire on top. 

-"Are we just gonna stand here ?I told you ,we are a team.You dont have to be afraid of me." Stich found the courage to speak up.

-"We're not afraid of you.It's just that.. Sometimes you look a lot like him." You smirked and said :

-"Okay guys ,the day I start using fuck more than any other word ,hit me on the head to bring me back to my senses." Your joke made them relax and see that you're still you ,underneath all the Negan outfit. 

-"Stich ,you driving the car ?" She raised her deceivingly perfect arch shaped eyebrows .

-"You know I'm a two wheel girl."She reminded you a lot of Daryl.Kind hearted ,ready to sacrifice for her team ,and into bikes More than anything else. If she carried a crossbow around ,you'd be convinced she's his twin. 

-"Okay I should have seen that coming.I ride with Stich.Jade,Amarise, ,Meadow, Le Ann, June,Sam and Effie you take the cars. It's like any other hunt guys.Nobody goes alone ANYWHERE ,that's for you Jade . Let's roll. " 

You close your eyes while wrapping your arms around Stich's waist. You manage to fool yourself that it's Daryl you're hugging.You can almost smell him.Feel him.Hear him.The tears start streaming down your face.

How could he forget about you ?It's been 37 days and still no sight of him.Maybe he hasn't picked up your tracks.Maybe they're still trying to recover from the last attack..Maybe...Maybe he got tired and let go. 

-"Hey Ace ,check this out. "You sit up on the bike trying to get a better view. Using the binoculars, you spot bodies scattered.

-"Jade stay in the car.The rest of you ,let's go."  
-"I'm coming too."  
-"Dont argue with me.Stay and be quiet." 

You hate to exclude her,but this is unknown territory and you can't compromise her.

-"This doesn't look right."Stich said while the rest of you agreed.

-"These bodies are fresh....They're not ripped apart. They don't seem to have any bites.Somebody killed them." Amarise along with Sam and Effie searched around only to find out that there's no house or any kind of community.

-"That means someone dropped them here.But why ?" Giving some thought into it ,you gasp ,hoping that it's not what you're thinking.

-"Check their foreheads. " Stich seemed confused .  
-"Do it."  
-"Ace....They have a w engraved ."Your heartbeat fastens. 

-"Grab your guns and move slowly back to the vehicles.Mind for traps. Don't touch the bodies."

-"What's going on ?"  
-"Stich. .. It's the Wolves .That's their trademark. We gotta go.NOW." 

"You're never safe " .Ricks words playing like a broken record inside your head. You hear a gunshot.it's coming from relatively close,but you can't detect it's origins.You make your way to your vehicles when Sam's scream gets your attention. 

-"No ,no she's gonna be okay .Make room.She's gonna be fine.KEEP HER AWAKE." Your decision to force Jade to stay in the car ,caused her to have a bullet in her chest.You can't breathe.A loud buzzing is heard.While the others try to keep her from closing her eyes ,you tell them to go back as you'll stay to find the shooter.Stich stays with you.

-"Ace.. Let's go.They're not worth it."

-"We're not leaving till I have their heads." Blinded by anger ,you uncover their spot.Apparently ,they were hiding in the woods . 

-"STOP ACE WHAT ARE YOU DOING."You blacked out.The next thing you remember is having them nailed on the trees ,hitting their heads till they're all butter.One manages to run ,obviously horrified by your actions.

-"You wanted the devil.You got it."You shot him and then carried on by butchering him as if he was a piece of meat.You grab you big knife and chop off his head.Looking at it ,you realise that he couldn't have been older than Jade. Before leaving ,you use whatever's left of their bodies to paint a big s on the ground.

-"Where the fuck have you two been?" Negan asked Stich who made her way to the compound.

-"Negan...You must come.It's Ace."Panicked ,he rushes to the center of the community where you stood holding that boy's head ,covered in blood and guts.

-"Ace what happened?"He has never looked more distressed , and he's done some pretty nasty things.

You drop the head to the ground and say:

-"The wolves.They're coming for us.They shot Jade.I beat the holy hell out of them. Aren't you fucking proud?" Given the circumstances, he didn't react violently ,as he would have normally . He tried to talk but your main concern was Jade.

-"How's she doc ? She gonna make it?"

-"She's stable but we're gonna need antibiotics.Let me take a look at you.Thats a lot of blood. " You refused to be looked at ,explaining that you weren't hurt.

-"Okay I'm gonna go look for meds.How much time do I got?"

-"We have enough for tonight and tomorrow."

-"Okay,JUST KEEP HER ALIVE." You find yourself pacing up and down wondering how you even got to this point.

-"I was supposed to protect her.Fuck.What if she dies.God ,please don't take her .She's a kid." 

Negan found you talking to yourself. 

-"Come with me ."  
-"Drink?"  
-"Fuck yes ."If Stich was present ,she'd probably smack you.You were turning into what felt like a worse version of Negan.

-"Fuck is my word. But you can use it all the fuck you want.Now tell me.What happened. "  
As he was carefully listening to your detailed encounter with the Wolves he got upset .

-"They can't fuck with our fucking community.We're gonna have to pay them a fucking visit,though I'm sure you smashing their people might send out a clear message." 

-"I can't believe I did that.I didn't just kill them.I cut them to pieces. I squashed them.You know whats the worst part ?" 

-"What ?" 

-"I fucking enjoyed it.I felt pleasure with every stab.I didn't want to stop.And that boy.I felt nothing.I feel...nothing." Negan found himself closer to you.He was still holding on to his glass but you grabbed it and drunk it all.

-"If I fucking kiss you ,will you fucking kick me out like last time ?" Your eyes are engaged .You both bite your lips and place your hands on each others faces.

-"Fuck you cut my lip. "  
-"I bite too hard for ya ?"  
-"Ace ...I'll show you fucking hard." Your mind was absent. Passion took over and surrendered you to Negans rough touch. 

-"Don't stop. Harder Negan. Harder." You breathe out as you whole body trembles.He enters with force over and over again till you have no strength to move . 

-"Fuck you feel so good.I wanna cum inside you."

-"You better fucking do." You collapse in each others arms ,trying to catch your breath.

-"Now I see why so many women want you."

-"If the other men knew how good you are ,they'd fucking be all over you.I guess you forgot all about Daryl ." 

You hadn't but apparently he had.Moving on is part of life,always has ,always will be. You grab his shirt, put it on and make your way to the bathroom. 

As you look in the mirror ,Daryl's face passes by .You blink a few times trying to get the image to go away but it's still there.How dissapointed he'd be if he knew what you've done.You can't recognise your self anymore. Anger ,pain,abandonment all had something to do with your current state,but nothing could justify your monstrous actions.

-"Negan.. I'm not gonna be one of your many wives."He put on his pants and got close to you.

-"What do you want then? "

-"To be your only wife." He let out a laugh .

-"Ace ...I can't just fucking dump them all for you." 

You place your lips to his ear and whisper :

-"It's me ,or them.You can't have us all." He bit his lip and grinned.  
-"Fuck me.I choose you." You spent the entire night having rough sex .You wanted to show him what he'd miss if he chose the others over you.

-"Negan .Wake up." Dwight barged in ,finding you both naked under the covers.Negan was about to yell ,but you took over asking Dwight what was wrong.

-"It's Jade.Shes awake.She wants to talk to you Ace."


	10. Broken Bones

-"Hey you. I'm glad you're still with us. "  
-"I guess next time I'm not staying in the car." You touched her face tenderly with the back of your palm, letting her know that her shooters are dead.Her reaction took you aback.

-"What do you mean they're dead ?What did you do ?"  
-"I killed them.I chopped off their heads. " Her horrified reaction was a strong reminder that you were gradually losing your humanity ...Yourself. 

-"They shot you.They deserved it.The wolves keep pushing us .They knew better."

-"The wolves?They're people .And they're trying to survive as much as we do.Maybe they wouldn't act like that if Negan let them keep some of the stuff they find." You were wiling to carry on with the conversation ,when Negan stepped in.His eyes were focused on Jade's face.He smiled but she seemed appalled. 

-"Hey kiddo.You alright ?" She refused to respond. Negan knew from day one that Jade was opposed to his tactics. Now that you two were an item, he wanted to bring himself closer to your team.

-"Okay we should let her rest.We gotta go find more meds. "

-"Wait Negan.You coming too ?ill go with my team."

-"No.Let them rest.They've been through enough. Today it's gonna be you and me." 

You kiss Jade goodbye and load the car with guns and ammunition. Negan insisted that you wear a bulletproof vest,just in case.

-"Okay ,the road stops here.We take the fucking turn and search around." 

The first few minutes were quiet.It was easy to tell that your minds were travelling somewhere else.In each hunt you were trying to pick up Daryl's tracks with no luck.You weren't as good as he is.

-"Hey I wanted to ask you something since yesterday. "

-"Name it."

-"When we were lying in bed."

-"Yes?" He smirked.

-"I noticed lots of scars. There are all over your body." His face turned blank. His eyes darkened.

-"The fuck you care ?You want me to open up?What am I ? A fucking pussy? " 

-"Fine dont tell me." He stopped ,letting you know that he spotted a bar.

-"I get in and clear the place. When I'm done I'll call you fucking in, got it ?"

-"Yes Negan I'm not stupid." The place had 3 walkers ,which was a walk in the park for Negan. He found moonshine. You laughed remembering Daryl and Merle.

-"What are you thinking ?" 

-"Out of all the drinks ,you found moonshine ?"

-"The fuck is wrong with moonshine ?"

-"Nothing .I just... It was the first drink I ever had "

-"When was that ?"

-"Well ,believe it or not Daryl wouldn't let me drink till i got 18." His expression changed but seemed interested in finding out more about the relationship you had with Daryl.

-"Was he your boyfriend or something ?"

-"No.Nothing like that.We were always friends. "

-"So you're friend zoned all these years ?That fucking sucks.Let me ask you somethin. What's that photo you keep looking at ?" You reach to your pocket and unfold the photo and turn it over to Negan.

-"The one on the left is Merle. He was Daryl's brother .I'm in the middle with Maria , Merle's girlfriend, and on the right is Daryl.That's the last picture we took. I think it was on Merle's birthday.We took it after Maria told him she was pregnant. I just turned 42 and my present is fatherhood ?that's what he said. "

-"How old was Daryl in the picture ?"

-"32 .I was the kid of the group. They always saw me like that I guess."

-"You're fucking 26.You ain't no baby.Tell me about the moonshine. That's some hard shit.How did they get you to it ?"

-"It was my birthday and Daryl came and picked me up with his bike.We went over to his place.He cooked ,for the first and last time in his life ,he even baked cake.It was horrible and crunchy because he left some eggshells inside the cake.So ,he took out this bottle ,drunk first and told me: welcome to adulthood.Everything sucks but moonshine makes it a little better." 

-"What happened to his brother ?"

-"He died .They made it out together but somewhere along the way he got himself killed.Daryl didn't say much.Maria died when the whole apocalypse happened."

-"You still love him don't ya ?" 

-"Negan, I know you 2 months. I've known Daryl my whole life.I told you my story.How about you tell me yours." He didn't react aggressively ,like before. Taking a deep breath he said :

-"Where the fuck do I start ?Okay...My dad didn't want any kids but since he was an army general he did the "right thing " and married my mom. When I was six he started hitting her and I would jump on him calling him Fucker and stuff. "

-"So you started the whole fuck thing from a young age." He smiled and continued :

-"He sent me off to a military camp.Basically ,he wanted his own little soldier. I wasn't made for that shit so I'd just cause problems all the time.He brought me back home when I was 12.That's when he started hitting me too.The Fucker. " he said while pouring in his glass more moonshine. 

-"My mom tried to stop him one night.The Fucker grabbed her by the neck and snapped it ,as if she was nothing but a twig.He told the fucking cops I did it. Because of my record they believed him.So I was sent to juvy. "

-"Wow.And I thought I had a fucked up story. "

-"Mine gets better.There was this bitch there.She had a soft spot for young boys ,if you know what I mean.Whoever misbehaved or didn't stay to get raped ,received punishment. "

-"What kind of punishment ?" 

-"She'd walk in the room and say:I am Lucille.And I'm gonna beat the holy hell out of you.She had a baseball bat and hit us till we couldnt stand ."

-"Wait ?That's who you named your bat after ?" 

-"That's her bat . The bitch thought she'd be safe. When the walkers started taking over ,I went over to her place ,grabbed the bat and beat the holy hell out of her. "

-"Lucille's origin story is a lot different than the one I had in mind."

You can finally understand why Negan behaves the way he does.He didn't say anyhting else.Besides, he shared really personal things with you and that was good enough. 

You decide to take a look around.Unfortunately, there was nothing you could use ,let alone meds.On your way out ,Negan turns to face you.He freezes .The blood starts running like a waterfall. 

-"Fucking Wolves. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL YOU FUCKS."

-"Negan we have to go. We are just two. They must be more."

-"There's a back door.Let's go.And Ace. "

-"What ?"

-"If you have to run ,leave me and RUN." 

-"I don't leave people behind." He kissed you and said :

-"Sometimes you have to."

Carrying a man as heavy as Negan ,isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world.You had all the guns with you but the car was parked further away.There wasn't much time.Negan wasn't going to like it ,but you knew what would get you out of there alive.

-"Fuck to the no.You're not fucking going alone out there.We dont even know how many they are." 

-"Since you're hurt and can't move ,what choice do we have ?The sooner I kill them ,the faster we'll get back home. " His eyes were closing and opening all the time.You weren't sure if he was gonna last another minute let along an hour.

-"We want a new deal with Negan." A voice was heard. 

-"The fuck did you shoot him for then ?"

-"We want a new deal."

-"Show your fucking selves and then we'll talk." A 5 membered team appeared out of nowhere. They started scanning you.

-"Name it ."

-"We won't give our stuff to you and your people any more." You find yourself with the finger on the trigger. They notice and strip you off of your guns ,except for the knife you had.

-"You give us your shit and we dont kill you.You don't get a better deal."

-"You're not Negan. You're just a girl. " All sense abandoned your body.With fast and unpredictable moves, you stab on the neck the one who dared to defy you.Instead of throwing down the body ,you use it as a shield to the bullets hitting like rain from the others.You spare the life of only one 

-"You tell your people that we don't negotiate.Next time you try to kill us ,we'll cut off your arms and jaws and turn you into our pet -walkers .Got it ? "

You went back to the bar ,hoping to find Negan alive. You couldnt even tell who's blood was on you.After what seemed like a long drive, you manage to get back to the compound safe and alive.Since he was hurt ,you chose to inform the leaders and the civilians about the situation.

-"We are at war.The wolves attacked me and Negan. If you see any of them, don't ask any questions.Kill em. "


	11. This is a war

-"Rick stop the car.There's someone running.Maybe he needs help ." 

As they make their way out of the car ,they spot a rather disturbed ,covered in blood, young boy who looked like he had witnessed true terror. At the sight of the two men approaching him ,he reacted instinctively by shooting at them.Rick ambushed him and tackled him to the ground.

-"Put your hands up where we can see em. Do it.NOW." Ricks steady voice frightened the boy ,who had no other choice but to oblige.As he raises his hands ,something drops from his pocket.

-"Whatcha got there ,huh? Pick it up and give it to me.Slowly. "He did as Daryl instructed. It was dark so he went back to the car to get a flashlight. His knees got weaker.His heart sunk.

-"Where the heck did you find this photo ,huh?Speak god damn it or imma kill ya."Daryl was shaking ,he could barely control himself. The boy stuttered.Rick could tell he was pushing himself to make the words come out. 

-"I swear we won't get anywhere near your compound again.Please don't kill me.Please. " His words made no sense to Rick and Daryl.

-"What are you talking about ?When were you in Alexandria ?" The boy stopped crying and looked at them with confusion.

-"A...Alexandria ?Sir ...Are you not with the saviors ?" Rick threw a glance at Daryl , letting him know that he should take over the interrogation.

-"The photo..."Daryl said while forcing it upon the boy's face.  
-"Where did you get it ?"

-"She dropped it.I wanted to show the rest who's in charge now. "

-"In charge of what ?"

-"The saviors.Her and Negan are the leaders. " Daryl took a step away,trying to catch a breath.Ace,the girl he knew all his life ,not only was she not forced to live with the enemy ,but took over leadership ?

-"YOU LYIN " Rick's hand was the only thing keeping Daryl from shooting an arrow through the boy's head.

-"I'm ,I'm not.I swear.She's a monster. You have no idea what she's done. "

-"I DON'T BELIEVE YA." Obviously there was something going on.Rick decided to use his old sheriff methods to get the truth out of the boy.

-"Look kid.If you don't tell everything we want to know ,you're dead ." 

-"I swear I'm telling you the truth.She's a monster.Worse than Negan.I've never seen anyone kill people like that.You gotta help us.Please." Daryl refused to believe that monster would be something describing you.

-"You know where the saviors compound is ?" Rick grabbed Daryl's arm to talk to him away from the boy.

-"What are you doing?Did you not hear what he said ?"

-"I let her go once.It ain't happening again." 

-"Do you?" 

-"Yes sir but .. "

-"But what ?"

-"She said if anyone tried to get close to them ,she'd cut off our arms and jaws and use us as pet -walkers." 

-"I don't give a rat's ass what she said.You taking me there." Rick advised Daryl to wait until the next night.Everyone was too exhausted to orchestrate an attack against what seemed like the strongest community. 

-"Fine.We take ya with us and tomorrow you show us the way.Got it ?"

-"Yea sir " Said the distraught boy. 

-"Whatcha name ?"Rick asked.

-"Jimmy.Jimmy Jr. But they call me JJ."

-"Okay JJ.We're gonna blindfold you ." The way back to Alexandria was quiet. Daryl couldn't help but wonder if what JJ said is true.Could she be capable of such horrible things ?" 

Okay JJ.We're here .We have a built in jail .You're spending the night there." He didn't fight back.In fact ,he seemed quite relieved to be taken in by good people rather than the saviors.

Daryl rushes to share the news with Carol.

-"If what that boy said is true ,what are you gonna do?"

-"I'm gonna remind her who she is."

-"Daryl.. "

-"No.I'm done listening.I gotta find her.I gotta see it with my eyes."

-"Rick got a plan ?"

-"The only thing we got is JJ.He knows where the saviors are."

-"Wait.Aren't they trying to fight back against the saviors ?"

-"Yeah ?"

-"What if we form an alliance? Maybe we can send out a group of our own ,to their group and tell them we wanna take down the saviors as much as they do."

-"They gonna hurt her.I can't let that happen. "

-"Okay ,if you can come up with a better plan ,feel free to share it."

-"Ya think he was telling the truth?"

-"It's not impossible.Don't beat yourself up.Try to get some sleep and we'll talk more in the morning." 

-"Night." Carol kissed tenderly his forehead and went to sleep. 

He tried to relax by taking a hot shower.The thoughts though wouldn't leave.What would he do if she's that evil ? What if he has to kill her ? 

The morning came and found him wide awake.The whole community was gathered.Rick laid down all the facts. They have decided their next step. 

-"So be it then.Wolves and Alexandrians against the saviors.We meet up with the Wolves tonight to organise."

Daryl didn't agree ,but it was the only option.Maybe ,thats how he'd get back Ace.


	12. Wolves

Daryl was emotionally drained,but determined to do all that is necessary to bring back Ace.He's seen people come and go.He's buried and killed friends along the way.Ace ,though wasn't just a person with whom he survived.She was his family.

Thoughts take over as the crew gets ready to go meet with the Wolves. What If they're lying?What if this is a trap to make us leave Alexandria so they can ambush our people and kill 'em? Rick seemed confident that an alliance might benefit both communities against the saviors.

Everyone is silent. Carol breaks a smile when Daryl turns to face her.Rick scratches his beard nervously and combs his hair with his fingers.Michonne warms up ,just in case she has to use her katana. Daryl checks his crossbow over and over again while Maggie kisses Glenn goodbye. JJ stands quietly ,waiting for Ricks signal to move.He seems nervous and he should be.Wolves and Alexandrians have the same enemy ,but that doesn't mean the Wolves will agree or will be pleased with having intruders in their community.The group understands that JJ is risking a lot by taking them there. 

-"Everyone good to go?" Rick asked and everyone nodded affirmatively. Daryl placed himself on his bike.Before leaving ,he takes one last look at the photo, wanting to remind himself why he's doing this.

Though they've searched around the area ,they never imagined a whole community would be hiding in plain view. There was no security.No one watching over the gates.JJ makes the first step while the group is pointing their guns at him.His hands are tight with hard rope.He has blood and dirt all over his clothes.Daryl grew fond of JJ.He reminded him of when he was a kid. A deep voice is heard :

-"who are you and why do you have our member ?" They start looking around ,trying to detect where the voice is coming from.JJ is agitated.Something is off and Daryl can sense it. There are tracks all over the place and he can spot people moving fast all around them.

-"Let's go.Somethin's not right here." Rick tried to keep everyone in their position,but he failed to understand that they were in the Wolves territory.

The forest they entered was oak-brown and primitive.The grass was crackly beneath their feet,probably because of the recent dry spell.Daryl appreciated nature and was very well aware of its dangers.The trees stood majestically, as hoary fortesses.Their knotted arms rose ever upwards ,as far as their head could lift. The density of the forest works as a camouflage for the Wolves compound. 

Now everyone can sense what Daryl warned them about.They are surrounded.Before managing to evaluate the situation ,they are held captive. Blindfolded ,with their arms bound ,they realise that the Wolves might not be what they seem.JJ smirks and joins his group. 

-"Who are you ?" A tall man makes his way to the kneeled down group. He introduces himself as the Alpha .His face is held forward in a steady gaze that gives out an air of authority that is palpable. Alpha has a rectangular face with a defined ,slightly pointed chin with a sturdy jaw line.Daryl seems focused on his eyes though.Dark ,small and spaced evenly apart,sitting below thick eyebrows that seemed to curve as a natural extention of his broad ,rounded nose.

-"We have a community that's been threatened by the saviors. " Rick mouthed.

Alpha paced slowly towards Rick.

-"And what do you want from us?" 

The group exchanged glances.

-"We want to bring them down as much as you do." The wolves started laughing ,causing confusion to the group. 

-"Do you have any idea what they can do ?They are hundreds and heavily armed."

-"But you can move around the woods without being noticed." Daryl added.

-"Indeed we can.My men told me that you spotted them.You a hunter? "

-"Nah. "  
Alpha seemed interested in Daryl's skills.

-"Okay cut them loose and lead them to my house."  
JJ assured the Wolves that Ricks group was nothing like the saviors and at the same time let the group know that they weren't gonna get hurt.

-"Let's talk.What do you have in mind."  
-"You know where their compound is."Daryl takes charge and leaves Rick aside.

-"Yes we do." 

-"Take us there." 

Alpha narrowed his eyes and said :

-"You'll die before making it .They have the whole area monitored.Don't you think we would have killed them already ?" 

-"That's why we're here.We want to make a deal with you. " Rick exclaimed.

-"Do you have a death wish Rick?Because I know my people don't. Come.Walk with me." 

Alpha wanted to show them what he'd be risking if he even thought about turning against the saviors. 

-"Wh...What happened to them ?"Daryl's eyes get blurry.Children malnourished ,playing around in dirt.Women sick and exhausted.

-"We are barely 60 people.Negan let's us keep half of the food we find and the rest goes to him and his people." Rick is in the center of the compound ,staring at the Wolves. There is nothing but skin and bones. He can feel his heart being ripped to pieces. 

-"how can you be okay with this ?"he says while pointing at a child passing out.

-"If we fight them,we die." A young boy rushes to Alpha.  
-"WE FIGHT."  
-"BRANDON GET BACK."  
-"FATHER.WE WANT TO FIGHT. " Alpha engages in a fiery stare down with his son.

Brandon kept his mouth closed in a thin ,straight line ,and his hair -naturally light brown in color with gold highlights -was nearly tied and worn back to reveal a wide forehead.The jacket he wore over his broad shoulders had neatly polished buttons.One could tell he has his father's eyes shape only his were Hazel with a touch of grey.

-"We are weak.We can't defeat them son."

-"We are not alone anymore We can at least try. Look at us.We can't live like that any more. " As much as Alpha wanted to avoid a collision with the saviors ,he knew it was inevitable.His people wouldn't go against his will but Brandon was right.They wouldn't last much longer. 

They spent the night sharing details about their lives,trying to bond with each other. Michonne admired Brandon's will to protect his community. Glenn spotted a young boy in the crowd ,named Joshua

-"Hey little guy.Are you okay ?" He thought to himself that the boy can't be older than 5.

-"Hey.Are you hungry."The boy replied with a weak yeah and followed Glenn. 

-"You're good with kids.This is a good warm up before your baby gets here." Carol said while looking at Glenn proudly.

-"You having a baby? "Joshua tilted his head towards Glenn .

-"Yes little dude.My wife and I are are having a baby in 2 months.Where are your parents ?"

-"They went to heaven."Glenn and Carol looked at him.

-"Did the monsters get them ?"Carol asked.

-"No.They went to heaven when I was a baby. "

-"Where did you live Josh ?"

-"I was in a big house with lots of other kids." Glenn held him close.All this time he felt that life has been rather unfair to him ,until he took a taste of other people's misfortunes. 

-"Do you have people taking care of you here ?"

-"When they can. " Glenn took Carol aside and approached Alpha.

-"How did Josh end up with you ?"

-"We found him wandering in the streets.He was twice as skinny as he's now .We didn't think he'd make it, but he's a tough boy. "

-"Okay .Look.My wife and I are having a baby.We have doctors and a good, safe place. All I'm saying is... He needs a family.And we can give him that." Glenn had a whole speech prepared in his head but Alpha didn't need much convincing. 

-"Hey Josh. I was wondering .Do you like me ?"  
He hugged Glenn's leg refusing to let go.Glenn smiled and run his fingers through Josh's hair.He was exhausted and fell asleep in Glenn's arms. 

On the way back Glenn had his arm placed around Josh ,as a seat belt. 

-"Maggie's gonna love him."He said while staring out of the window.


	13. I got you

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You never know ,dear,how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away".

Maggie was never much of a singer ,like her sister.Instead she chose to listen to music and try to hit the right notes.This night is different though.A new member is added to their family.She smiles while watching him fall asleep.Glenn was right.Maggie loved him from the second she saw him.It's funny how they're not related ,yet she saw a slight resemblance with her father.Same eyes.Same kind ,warm smile.

-"Hey.I thought you'd be sleeping by now."Glenn walked in the toddler's room to find his wife watching over Joshua.

-"I wanted to,trust me.His tiny breaths and sweet hands fell so perfectly around me ,I just didn't want to move.We got to make him eat more. And find him clothes.And toys .And..." 

Glenn stopped her with a kiss.He let out a smile and told Maggie how he feels. 

-"You know ,this may sound weird but I'm happy the whole apocalypse thing happened. "

-"It's not weird.It's crazy."

-"No hear me out.Before this , I was delivering pizzas feeling like a waste of life.You asked me about my scars.The truth is that a few days before the walkers took over,I tried to kill myself." 

Maggie gasped and held him tight.

-"Now I have a purpose.Now I have you and Josh and soon our baby.Without the apocalypse I wouldn't have met you.You kept me alive Maggie.You and only you." 

She felt her eyes get teary.Just the thought of existing in a world where Glenn wouldn't be present, made her stomach turn. 

-"Alright let's hit the road people." Morning found everyone in a rush.Some had to make rounds and find supplies and others had to prepare the community for the arrival of the Wolves. Daryl chose to spent the night with them and show the way back to Alexandria.

-"Can I come too?"Josh said in a pouty face.

-"No buddy you're staying with Maggie.Youre gonna play games and eat and have fun."

-"I like Maggie ."She always said that kids can be mean but at least they're honest.That was definitely a big win for her. 

-"Okay have fun guys.Bye." Maggie told Josh she'd be upstairs taking a shower.He promised he'd be a good boy.

-"Rick,you got the list?"

-"Yeah .You need to add something ?"

-"Well I was thinking .Josh needs clothes and toys.Maybe we can find something along the way."

-"Sure man."Rick said as he placed his hand on Glenn's shoulder.  
6 members decided to go out for the run.It was sunny so Glenn ,Michonne and Rick took the truck. After a while ,Rick felt a bump and stopped the car to make sure everything was working.

-"Flat tire? " Glenn checked and affirmed Rick of the situation.

-"Damn it."Rick said while kicking the tire.

-"It's fine.I got a spare on the back. " 

Glenn reached to grab the spare tire only to find something moving under a brown blanket.He signaled to the others and they all had their guns ready to shoot. 

-"JOSH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?"It was probably the first time Glenn lost his cool and yelled to someone. The child got startled and let out a loud cry.

-"I'm sorry.Josh I'm sorry.I didn't mean to hurt you.It's dangerous here and I don't want you to get hurt.Okay?"

-"Okay." Josh agreed and held Glenn's hand. 

-"Let's change the tire and head back home. "

-"We need gas man.We have to go to the city. DAMN IT."

On the way ,Glenn held Josh in his arms.Upon arriving ,he decided to stay in the car with him to protect him.Unfortunately ,things didn't go as planned and Glenn had to rush in the store to help Michonne and Rick who were facing lots of walkers. 

-"Glenn ...GLENN BEHIND YOU."A huge ,bulked up walker was heading towards Glenn who manoeuvred, in order to escape his grip. Michonne stabbed him but the katana got stuck in his guts.They were out of ammunition.

-"Run and go to Josh.NOW."

Glenn is now facing what seems to be the last "person "he'll ever lay his eyes upon and let's out a scream. In these few seconds ,his whole life and mostly the life he'll never have passes before his eyes.Fear takes over. As he's ready to surrender to his death , a gun shot is heard and the huge walker drops dead to the ground.Glenn's eyes widen as he sees Josh holding the gun that saved his life.They smile at each other .They think it's over ,when Josh finds himself fighting a walker who came for him from behind.Glenn sprinted to him and pushed away the Walker ,killing it with the gun.Josh was letting out agonising screams as his arm was leaking out blood. 

-"JOSH.JOSH KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN BUDDY.LISTEN TO MY VOICE I WONT LET YOU DIE.FASTER RICK .FASTER GOD DAMN IT." 

-"DOC WE NEED HELP .NOOOW." Denise takes a look at the boy but doesn't let the distraught Glenn in the infirmary.

-"What happened. Glenn. GLENN TALK TO ME ." 

-"WHY DID YOU LOSE SIGHT OF HIM ,HUH?WHY DIDNT YOU KEEP HIM HERE ?YOU'RE WORTHLESS .HOW AM I GONNA TRUST YOU WITH OUR BABY ?"

Maggie slapped him and distanced herself .After 2 hours or so,Denise opened the door and let them in to check in on Joshua.

-"He's gonna be okay ?"

-"Yes .We had to cut his arm off but he's gonna make it.Listen.He's gonna wake up in a few minutes and he's gonna be in pain.Don't fight over his head." They exchanged glances and agreed to be civilised for Josh.

-"It huuurts. "His voice made them both crack.They've never felt more relived.

-"I know buddy.But it's good.It means you're healing. "Maggie said as she carassed his face.

-"I want to sleep. "

-"It's okay.We'll be here when you wake up. "They kissed his forehead and asked Denise and Carol to take their place for a while.

-"Look Maggie.I didn't mean any of this.You know how much I love you."

-"I know.Let's just focus on him getting better.It's gonna take some time getting used to having no arm."

-"He's alive. That's all that matters." 

Josh spent the whole after morning refusing to take his meds or make any effort to move what was left from his arm.

-"He's depressed.We gotta help him."The whole group was present. Carl stepped up and said:

-"Look,no offence but you have no idea what its like losing a part of your body.I'll go talk to him."

-"Hey man.You feeling better.?" 

Josh refused to answer.Instead he kept staring out of the window.

-"You know ,I get it.Not wanting to talk to anyone cause they won't get it.Hey.You ever wondered why I have my eye covered? " Josh seemed engaged.

-"Believe it or not, I got shot in the eye.I lost it and I can't see from that side." Josh stood up and asked :

-"Does it hurt ?"

-"Not anymore. Listen. It's gonna be hard at first but let me tell you something.We look like superheroes with our battle wounds. You're a fighter. You're a survivor." 

Josh was still upset but understood what Carl said.

-"I'm a superhero."He said while Maggie and Glenn entered the room. 

-"Thank you Carl. "

-"Anytime."He laughed and left the infirmary.

-"So what are we gonna do? "  
-"We're gonna survive. "


	14. Decisions

You find yourself pacing nervously up and down the infirmary.The doctor assured you that both Negan and Jade will fully recover, yet you couldn't shake the feeling that something was bound to happen. 

-"Doc,are we sort on the meds ?Do I need to tell the groups to go out on a hunt ?"

-"It'd be good if we had more.Just in case." 

-"Okay.You need anything else ?" She dropped her eyes nervously to the ground. Every step you took closer ,made her edgy.

-"Is there something wrong doc ?" 

-"Ace. You're a good woman. "

-"What's your point."You can feel tension hardening your posture.

-"You dont have to kill." Running your fingers through your hair,you grin and respond :

-"Do you know why you're still here ?Why you're not out there scattered in bits and pieces ?Why you're not one of them ?" You're now face to face. 

-"Ace ..I...." 

-"It's easy to judge,isn't it ?I know I'm a monster.So does he."you said while pointing at an intubated Negan. 

-"But guess what.NONE OF YOU WOULD BE HERE IF WE WEREN'T MONSTERS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT ,YOU CAN GET THE FUCK AWAY ." You threw a steady glance at the doc who stared back at you in utter shock. You couldnt even recognise yourself. Always angry and bloodthirsty. Ready to kill and fight anyone who'd dare to challenge you. 

Decisions had to be made.A war was raging and most of the people within the compound refused to face reality.None of you were born -killers with no moral or ethical boundaries,yet you've all done despicable things. 

A few days before your run in with the Wolves ,Negan gathered the whole community to let them know that if anything happened to him,you'd take over.

You take a deep breath and call your group inside the rv.

-"As you all know ,Negan is still ...Uhm...Recovering."

-"Jade?" Meadow asked.

-"The doc said she'll be up on her feet in a day or two.But I don't want her to find out whats gonna happen. " They looked at each other as if a stranger was standing before them.

-"Ace...."Stich made a step towards you.

-"It has to be done. "You and the group join the saviors ,who are anxiously waiting for your announcement.

You suck in a shaky breath, feeling your throat constrict.Panic rises like bile in your body.You suddenly dont know how to speak let alone walk.You just stand blankly ,staring up at your people.Were they truly yours or a replacement for those you loved but abandoned you ? Your palms are clammy.All you can worry about is keeping your knees from buckling under the weight of your body.

-"Saviors..." the word rolls out of your mouth like tumbleweed. 

-"As you all know ,Negan was the recepient of a brutal attack from the Wolves. They ambushed us and opened fire.While Negan was lying on the ground ,they said they wanted to negotiate a deal." 

-"What kind,"Dwight asked.

-"They said they wouldn't give us half of their stuff. "

-"it doesn't sound like a negotiation to me." 

-"It wasn't .I killed three of their own.They're coming for us." The gathered crowd breaks the silence with whispers of doubt.

-"I can't decide for you.We'll have to vote."Negan's men started laughing hysterically. 

-"Got a problem boys ?" You said while approaching the men.

-"What is this ? A fucking democracy ?You wanna be a leader ?Lead."Dwight said and turned his back on you.

-"A good leader listens to their people.A good leader doesn't send them to war just because he or she fucking feels like it." 

-"There are children and young ,wounded people in their community.Don't any of you touch them ."

-"Or what ?" Dwight found the perfect chance ,with Negan's absence ,to show off his leader material.

-"I'll cut your fucking heads off and put 'em on a stick." He wanted to react but Negan taught you well. 

-"So what ?We're gonna kill their parents and leave the kids to fend for themselves ?" You were taken aback as Jade made her way to the center of the compound where the meeting was held.Meadow was holding her.

-"Ace...You're not like that.We don't need this war. " 

-"They're coming after us."

-"If they come ,we'll fight them.But we don't have to go and kill them."

-"They attacked you and Negan."

-"Not so long ago ,the saviors attacked your community and forced you to stay here." 

-"Okay.Those of you who agree ,raise your hands ." The majority agreed to Jade's idea ,making it clear that most wanted peace. 

-"Ace."Jade tried to talk to you.

-"Not now.Go rest." You wipe the tears of your face before anyone sees that Jade got threw you. She wouldn't leave it.

-"Jade .."She followed you all the way into your rv along with the rest of your crew.

-"Ace im sorry.I shouldn't have said that."

-"It's okay."

-"It's not.I know you miss them.Him.But you're here now.Don't you think of us as your family?" You had your doubts and often wondered what you'd do if Daryl found you and asked you to leave everything behind and follow him.Just like anything else in life ,that decision was nowhere near simple. You've built strong bonds with the people of the saviors community and though you wanted to punch most of them dead ,some were worth risking your life for.

Instinctively ,you pull Jade over to you and hug her.The rest jumped in and giggled as you created a massive hug.

-"Guys ..We kill walkers.This doesn't look badass."Stich said.

-"Oh shut up.We know you like it."Jade responded ,causing you all to fall from too much laughing.

-"Jade lets go back to the infirmary."

-"Ace im glad you're here."You gently pushed back the curls covering Jade's face and kissed her forehead.

-"I'm glad I'm here too kiddo." 

-"Good night."

-"Don't worry Jade.I'll be here." She fell asleep peacefully.

You were seated on a chair ,between Negans and Jade's beds. 

-"W.Water." A voice interrupted your sleep.You jumped up and hang over Negans head ,giving him water.

-"Fuck.How long was I out."

-" 2 days." 

-"What did I miss?" He said jokingly.

-"Negan. We need to talk.But that can wait for tomorrow."

-"Good, cause I'm fucking exhausted. "


	15. Everything's not lost

You stayed up all night ,battling with your self over your decisions."I keep calling the Wolves monsters ,yet I kill them with no hesitation.I guess it takes one to know one." 

Your childhood wasn't ideal ,but you made it through. Along the way ,you met people who changed your life for the better.Daryl saved you and you can't just erase that.Maybe you are more broken than you think and you cant be fixed..Maybe there is no way back.Maybe ...Maybe you fucked things up beyond repair. 

You focus your eyes on your hands.It's almost as if you can see them being painted in bright red.You're startled.Is it the lack of sleep or the guilts eating their way out ? That kid.You promised you'd never hurt a child yet here you are carrying his death on your shoulders and no matter how many good things you do ,his death will be heavier and greater than anything. 

Jade finds it difficult to rest her body on the rigid bed that could barely fit her whole. Negan was given the bigger bed.He didn't move much which slightly concerned you ,given that usually he moves around as a wrestler in his sleep.You check on Jade and move towards Negan.His breathing feels heavy.The machines seem to be operating just fine and they display his heart beat as normal.Not wanting to take any chances ,you call out for Alex ,the doctor you yelled at the night before. 

-"You're right .Hes not breathing right. " Anxiety overwhelms you as the doctor confirms your fear. 

-"What do we do?"

-"Usually I'd ask for an x-ray or an mri but we don't have that anymore.Okay ...Uhm.Help me move him up.Gently and watch for his tubes. " Last night he was his self and this morning he can barely breathe.  
Alex places her stethoscope on his chest ,trying to detect any kind of abnormality.She looks at you panicked. 

-"He's barely breathing.I don't get it.The machines should have picked it up.They'd be making a loud buzzing sound. 

You take his hand trying to hold him on to dear life.You're taken aback at the lack of warmth.There's not much time.You search around his bed only to find out that the cables are not connected to the machines. Someone tried to kill him.How did this happen ?You spent the whole night in there .You fell asleep only for a little while. 

The doc flattens the bed. 

-"HE'S CRUSHING GOD DAMN IT.ACE CONNECT THE CABLES TO THE MACHINE." You do as you're instructed. 

-"Okay I got to open him up right now. Take Jade out of here and call for Steven and York. 

You refused to leave Negan alone.Spending some time with the saviors taught you a lot ,including how to take care of injuries.

-"THERE IT IS.HE HAS A CLOT .I GOTTA REMOVE IT NOW."You had your differences in the past ,but you never undermined her skills and determination to not give up on anyone.She's covered in blood .Sweat showers her body.She may or may not be able to save the compound's leader.Thats a huge responsibility ,but there's no one else good enough to take over.

After what felt like hours ,the machines return to the normal , rhythmic sound . You call for your group to let them know what went down.

-"I'm not kidding.Someone tried to kill Negan.I don't have the time to find out who that is right now ,but I want you to ask around .See for yourselves if anyone was here last night." 

Stich coordinated the mission you handed them.Jade was doing a lot better and since Alex had just operated on Negan ,she didn't want many people ,let alone sick around him.You take over the shift while she's there with you.

-"Alex...You were a rock star out there.I don't know what we would have done without you.

-"I thought I'd be dead if I weren't here with you."She said playfully. 

-"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.We need you .I was really messed up.It won't happen again."

-"I told you.You're a good woman.Stop beating yourself up for the people you had to kill and the things you had to do.There is no place for civility in times like ours.Just like my grandad used to say:Alex ,you're young and you can't see the true face of the world. I'll just tell you then what the Greeks used to say :"Strong do what they can ,weak suffer what they must." 

Alex was a really interested and intelligent individual, which was a very pleasant change for all the macho people that manned the compound. 

-"Hello.I'm fucking here.Why am I not included in your chitty chat.What the fuck are all these tubes?My chest feels heavy,so heavy that I can't move. Machines are buzzing. I lie still. Why the fuck am I lying still. Where am I and why ?I feel a light shining on my closed eyes. I struggle to open them.Success.I'm in a bright white room.Wait.This is the infirmary.Someone's bending over me. Fuck me, she's hot. That's Ace.Why are you saying my name sweet lips ?Fuck , I'm not a retard, I'm talking back to you.I try to remember how to talk. No words come out.I blink hard.Again she calls me.Fuck.I clear my throat. I think I'm about to let out a fucking scream.

"What happened ?I manage to let out as a tiny whisper."


	16. Nowhere warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not posting earlier but I was at the hospital .All is good now .I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I do writing it.

A big lump clogs your throat forcing your voice to shut down as you try to comfort Negan.You want to tell him that everything is okay ,that he won't be in pain but nothing is certain any more.You're so tired of losing people .Death has become your closest friend. It's like you have a bad omen and death rips the lives of those who dare to go anywhere near you.

-"A...Ace." His voice is weak almost non-existent.To your surprise, he cracks a smile to make you feel better ,when it should be the other way around. 

-"Ta daaa.I fucking pranked you."He coughed ,causing his chest to raise . His grip was loose but at the same time warm ,letting you know that he's getting better.

-''We lost you there for awhile." His gaze was focused on yours.He was taken aback at the impact his near death had on you.

-"I saw a fucking light but didn't follow it."

-"Why didn't you?"

-"Cause I knew I wasn't done yet.Lucille has more fucking walkers to kill." He smiled and closed his eyes .Before you got to panic, Alex patted your back and asked you to follow her.

-"Don't worry.He's exhausted ,but he survived.The first 48 hours are critical.After that he'll be back on his feet." While she was talking ,you were watching over Negan .

-"Okay .I need 6 men out of his door and 4 inside .Alex...You're the only one I can trust 100%.For the next 48 hours you don't leave his side." 

She nodded affirmatively, and proud at the same time ,for she has gained your trust.

You kiss his forehead ,as a protecting spell from all the harm and the evil -Daryl used to do that when you'd spend the nights at his place - and leave the infirmary.As you step out ,you stand still ,place your hands on your hips and fold your figure while gasping.

-"Ace?" Stich had her eye on you .

-"I'm okay.Let's go ."

-"What happened .Is he okay ?" Her concern surprised you and ignited your curiosity.

-"Yeah.Since when do you care about Negan?"  
-"Excuse me.I won't ask again." She turned around angrily but you caught up to her .

-"Hey I'm sorry.It's been a really long night and I'm exhausted both physically and emotionally." 

-"I got you." 

The morning came faster than expected.It's as if you didn't get any sleep at all. Screams are heard somewhere inside the compound. You sprint out ,trying to locate it's origins.

-"The fuck is going on here?Are you crazy ?You're scaring everyone ." You were out of breath but that didn't stop you from placing yourself in the middle ,separating Negan's men from Jade and your crew.

-"Stop yelling and fucking talk." 

Dwight smirked and approached you.

-"You wanna know what your fucking little bitch did?"He said while pointing at Jade. You always had trouble dealing with men who believed they can put down women and call them names. Your short temper combined with the lack of restrictions and Dwight's provocative attitude ,justified -in your mind -the punch his face received.

-"If any of you call a woman or a girl within the compound anything like that ,I'm gonna cut off your balls and wear them as a fucking necklace. AM I CLEAR ?" For the first time his men stood silent ,like little kids being punished by their parents .

-"Now....Will someone please tell me already what's with all the yelling ?" 

Rodriguez ,one of Negans most respectful and good men decided to deliver you the news.

-"Ace...You told us to find out who tried to kill Negan." Your heart started racing like a sports car.

-"Jade did it." 

Your eyes widened and a defeaning silent filled your mind. 

-"No..You're. ...You're mistaken.Jade wouldn't. She would never..." You turn to face her ,hoping that she'll assure you it's all lies.Her eyes search around the dirt of the ground but come nowhere near close to yours.She sheds tears and can't bring herself to speak to you.

-"Jade....J...You...You wouldn't ...You didn't ...Did you?" You're now inches away .Your breaths make the most sound since your voice can only be perceived as a whisper. 

-"Ace...I'm ...I'm sorry...." Your crew was staring at you ,as if they were asking what to do. Little do they know that you're more lost than they feel."Everythings not lost" you keep repeating Daryl's phrase inside your head ,trying to find some comfort. How you wish he were there to lock you in his arms and make it all better.

-"Since Negan decided to leave you in charge ,how are you gonna punish her ." Dwight stated while wiping off the blood from his face.One would say that he was enjoying the abuse since he was always getting himself in trouble . Punishment ?To Jade ?How could you? She's just a kid.She's like the sister you always wanted. You'd rather die than let anyone -let alone you -cause her pain.

-"I want to talk with her first.Everyone...Get back to your jobs.The community's still running.Go find supplies . " Dwight was ready to jump in and question your decision ,but the rest guys held him back .Even they understood that you have a tough decision to make.

-"Sit." Your words are short and strict.

-"Ace.Im sorry."Her apologetic expression made things even worse.

-"Why?Why did you do it ?" Usually she's very vocal and ready to argue about everything. Opiniated and strong minded.But this occasion is an exception since she finds herself unable to justify her actions.

-"I did it for you." She speaks out thinly ,as if she didn't want to be heard .

-"What ?" 

-"You dont belong here.You're a good person and you're in pain here.I can see it." She found it easier to speak .

-"What are you talking about ?I mean ,yeah,Negan can be an asshole ,but because of who he is ,hundreds of people get to live every fucking day." You tried to hold down your tone .

-"You wanna know what kind of man Negan is?Follow me." You grabbed her hand and literally dragged her out of the rv.

-"Look .What do you see ?" 

-"It's the classroom.Kids are being taught something.I don't get it." 

-"Tell me in details what you see ."

-"There's a teacher and a board .They have their own desks and bags and pencils and notebooks.They have toys and lunch boxes. " 

-"Let's move along.What do you see here?" 

-"The 2nd infirmary."

-"Which is used for what ?Tell me exactly what the fuck do you see "

-"Kids and some old folks getting chemo."

-"While? "

-"While others keep them entertained and they listen to music . " 

-"Do you know what Negan does every single day ?He stays with them ,brings flowers and tells them how they are the toughest motherfuckers in the world.How even Lucille is scared of their power."

-"Let's go .Here.What do you see?"

-"Playground."

-"Here?"

-"The maternity ward."

-"Here?"

-"The dining hall for the members of the community."

-"Here ?"

-"The gardens and the animals ."

-"Here ?"

-"Medicine ...Food...Clothes. " 

-"Now take a look at that ."You said while forcing her to stand before a mirror.

-"Me...That's me. " 

-"Do you even remember how you got here ?Let me remind you.Negan saw you trapped in a convenient store while a herd of walkers were making their way in.He was alone and he distracted them.He literally killed each and every single one of them .He got in while you were passed out and carried you all the way back here.He stayed in the infirmary right next to you for the 4 days you were sleeping.THAT'S WHO NEGAN IS.He's the one doing the dirty work so that all of us get to live and have normal lives.He doesnt mind killing ,as long as that ensures our survival.DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?" 

She started crying uncontrollably realising that she didn't know who he really is.You held her in your arms and said:

-"Jade...You have to go. "


	17. Goodbye

-"Ace ,what do you mean? Are you kicking me out ?" She didn't want to overstay her welcome nor demand a second chance.

-"Yes.I am.I'm kicking us out.But it has to be done now while most are asleep."

Jade is taken aback.She gasps and runs to hug you.

-"You can't stay here any longer.I'm coming with you cause I can't just leave you out there alone.Go.Pack your bags ." 

-"What about the others ? Can I say goodbye ?"

You nod dissaprovingly. 

-"Be back in 5.I'll go get some meds from the infirmary .Make sure you don't get noticed ."

She run out of the rv ,almost excitingly. Your bags are already packed.Somehow ,in the back of your head ,you always believed that one day you'd walk back to Alexandria ,back to Daryl.Now ,the destination is unknown. 

You place yourself on Negan's chair and write a goodbye letter,to him ,to your crew....to your family. 

-"Ace, let's go before Dwight's shift starts. 

You take one last look around and leave with your head hanging down.

-"Wait here.It'll only take a second." You cracked the door of the infirmary gently ,but the damn thing is old and makes a rusty noise.Thankfully, that didn't wake Negan up.He has an oxygen mask wrapped around his face.You move slowly towards him and cup his face.You run your fingers through his thick black hair and smile while tears blur your vision.

-"I'll miss you." You whisper to his ear and turn around.As you're about to go,he grabs your hand.

-"What..." he says in a weak tone,while removing his oxygen mask. -"No goodbye kiss?" 

You're speechless. 

-"How do you know?"

-"People come in and gossip ,thinking I can't hear shit.But....I do." 

-"So you know about..."

-"Jade?Yeah ,I do."

-"Negan I have to protect her."

-"I know. " He gave out the warmest smile and brought your face closer to his.

-"Fuck.I'm gonna miss these lips. Now ,go.Take care of her.She's just a kid.And Ace...."

-"Yeah?"

-"Take Lucille."

You're suddenly out of breath.Lucille was the only thing Negan would never leave behind. 

-"Take her .She'll protect you.I'll find you when I'm done with this fuck recovery.Stay safe." 

You place the letter in the table and leave .Jade is standing at the entrance facing both you and Negan.

-"Ace,I. .." 

-"Not now.We have to get through Dwight. " 

The compound is almost empty. Most are asleep while Negan's men get ready to take over the next shift.You manage to pass through the garden and the animals without being noticed.The walkers that are placed as a warning system right out the compound will definitely give you away ,but there's no other exit.

-"Okay ,while they change shifts ,we get a breach of 10 seconds.You don't look back ,you just move on ,got it ?" 

-"Got it ."

The plan is being executed to perfection.It feels like nothing can go wrong.

-"Hey,who the heck is there ?Put your hands up or we'll shoot ya!!!"

You know that Dwight is looking for an excuse to plant a bullet in your skull.

-"Ha!Who do we have here?Sneaking out with the little bitch ,aren't we? "

How you'd like to wipe that smirk off of his face.

-"Take another step and ill shoot you."

-"Dwight ,quit bitching. They're not sneaking out together. Ace is kicking Jade out.She told me to go get some supplies for her.Now put down your stupid gun before anyone gets hurt." Stich came in the right time for the rescue.

-"I told you I got you."She smiled while joining you.

-"That's your big punishment?Kick her out ?I got half my fucking face ironed and she gets to walk away ?Nah,I don't think so."

He is now pointing his gun at you.Instinctively, both you and Stich use your bodies as shields ,to protect Jade,if need be.

-"If he shoots ,you run.Got it?"

-"But Ace. "

-"YOU RUN .GOT IT?

\- " What's it gonna be Ace? " 

-"Dwight, you worthless piece of coward. That's how you wanna take over the compound? By shooting at unarmed people? Aren't you gracious. " 

That's a pure "Russian Roulette " move, meaning that all three of you can drop dead any second.To your surprise, the rest of the crew puts down their weapons, but Dwight's finger is still on the trigger. Hes edgy and determined to make the shot. 

\- " Dwight, don't do this. " 

-"FUCK YOU GOMEZ AND FUCK YOU ACE. " 

As he pulls the trigger, the bullet is engaged in an irreversible death spiral. Stich jumps and takes the bullet on her shoulder ,causing her to crush on the ground.

-"STICH, NOOO. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU YOU STUPID FUCK. " 

Dwight panics and runs back to the compound to hide like the coward he really is. 

-"Ace take them and go." 

Gomez is the most respectable member of the saviors.He found Negan, or as he likes to say, they found each other. Negan trusts him more than anyone.He has a tough history like most of you.

At the age of 14, he lost his whole family in a drug war.When his oldest brother perished, he crossed the USA -Mexican borders and made a life for himself. "I got two passions in my life.Engines and my sweet sweet Emilia."

When the contamination spread, his kids were still in school. "My twins, my life. "He says and holds close to his heart the only picture of them left.Emilia died while giving birth ,so his twins were the only family left.Imagine that. A man losing his family twice. 

" Be afraid of those who've lost everything and still smile for they are the strong ones.

-"Thank you, Gomez thank you for everything. "

-"Go my children. Go..." Jade runs to the car to put in the supplies while you carry Stich all the way there.

-"You doing okay back there Stich ?"

-"Yeah it's an exit wound.That asshole always had a terrible shot anyways. " 

You laugh and decide to rest for the night in a ditch ,covering you both from humans and walkers.Jade decides to camouflage your vehicle, using branches and dirt, to cover your scent.Your next steps will be decided with the sunrise.


	18. Not the same

Blood splatters your hands.

Glass shattered around you.

Screams pierce the air.

Gunfire. 

Flames.

A familiar croaky disembodied voice is heard.

Jade screams in a brittle tone.

You narrow your eyes .

Stich.

Where is she?

Panic takes over.

Everything hurts.

Your head.It's bleeding. 

You try to focus on Jade's face.

She carries you.

The sun is out ,yet you can't see.The blood running from your head restricts your vision.

You cough. 

Every breath comes out with a sharp painful gasp.

Your knees can barely hold your own weight.

Lucille.On your left hand.

Jade on your right. 

-"Stich?" You manage to say in a guttural voice.

You turn around.Walkers.Hundreds of them. 

Some scattered all over.Others making their way to you.

-"GET INSIDE.NOW. EVERYONE ELSE.LET'S LIGHT THEM UP." 

-"Forgive me.Daryl ?Daryl .... " you say before closing your eyes. 

-"She's bleeding a lot man."

-"Press the wound here and stop crying ."

-"Jesus ,we are blocked .Fuck. there's just too many of them."

-"What are we gonna do?I DON'T WANNA DIE ." 

-"Okay everyone shut up. We can take the route 53 . " 

So many voices .Too loud. Where is Stich.

You close your eyes unable to open them for what proved to be a few hours, though you can feel every bump of the road.

-"W...Wat. ..Water."You manage to spell out while trying to sit up. You search around only to find yourself being placed on a gurney with tubes and cables on you. You place your right hand on your head feeling a sharp pain .Bandages .All around it.You remove the sheet ,wanting to make sure that you have no other injuries.All seems to be in place. 

Where are you ?And most importantly, where is Jade and Stich ?You can't sit there.You remove the cables and the needles carefully, one by one ,and try to focus your dizzy eyes on the ground.It's as if everything is spinning around but you have to move.

Stretches .If you get to the corner ,you'll get them and make your way to the door. You need a weapon.Something to defend yourself with. After a few seconds ,you find a scalpel.You spot your clothes being folded on the chair right next to your gurney. You change and get to the stretches . You open the door.The sun is relentless ,it makes your headache even worse.

 

-"JADE.STICH." There isnt much strength left inside ,but what you have is enough to be heard all over.

-"Hey...Easy there.We don't wanna hurt you." Two men surround you .Upon noticing the scalpel ,they raise their guns nervously ,unable to predict your next move.

-"Where ...Where are they ?" You feel like passing out ,but you hold your ground ,demanding answers.

-"I ...I don't know who is they.We found you with another girl."

-"LIARS." You pass out and collapse aggressively to the ground.

-"Ace...Open your eyes.It's me.Jade." She says in a honeyed voice with tears and disbelief in her eyes.

-"You...You okay?Where's Stich?They hurt her ?" You can tell something terrible happened ,just by the look on her face.

-"No...N...No...."You let out a gut wrenching cry.The air is too thick to swallow .It feels like you're drowning ,or something heavy is sitting on your chest.She tries to hug you but you jerk away . 

-"JADE DON'T SAY IT.DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY IT.STIIIIIIICH. " Your throat feels like being carved by a knife but you don't care.

-"WE MADE IT.SHE'S ALIVE. STIIIIIIICH. " You can't control your breath . 

-"WHAT HAPPENED .TELL ME GOD DAMN IT."  
a group of people walked in .Your screams must have alerted them that you're awake.Even worse ,that you found out about Stich's death.

-"Try to stay calm. You had a really bad hit on the head."

They can't even look at you.Why do they seem so guilty?

-"Who. Are.You. " You wipe off the tears and focus steadily on their faces ,trying to recognise them.

-"I'm Jesus and you're in our community.The Hilltop.There's been an...An accident. "

-"What accident ?" 

-"We are supposed to clean the road for the new group of people to come over. We threw bombs and started shooting at the walkers.We didn't. .."

-"You didn't notice we were there ?"

-"We are so sorry."

The broken glass. The blood. Stich lying on the cold hard ground a few inches away from you.She wasnt moving.It's all coming back to you now.

-"Did you pick up her body ?" 

-"Walkers came from every direction. She didn't. .." 

-"You let her die and didn't even save her body ?" 

-"We didn't mean to..." 

-"We are out of here.Jade grab your shit. " 

They tried to hold you down ,but they knew you'd always think of them as the killers of your best friend. Truth be told ,everyone's been through loss during the apocalypse. But you were so sick of it. 

You storm out of the infirmary ,while holding Jade's hand tightly.

-"Ace you're hurt .We're not gonna last out there."

-"Yes we are.Now move the fuck on ." Youre trying to keep your mouth shut but she makes it so damn hard.

-"No.I cant lose you too."

-"Now you think about loss?NOW?IT'S YOUR FAULT.HAD YOU NOT TRIED TO KILL NEGAN WE'D BE HOME AND SHE'D BE ALIVE.SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU." A group of people is now separating you from Jade.

-"ACE STOP." That croaky voice. You heard it when they hit you. It ...It cant be...

-"D...Daryl?" And just like that,anger leaves. You're ashamed for some reason.You take a look at Jade and realise your idiotic rampage has a very negative impact on her.

-"Jade ,hey,I'm sorry.I'm an asshole ,you know me.I didn't mean to." 

She finds herself in your arms ,crying like a child .

-"Go with these people ,I gotta talk to Daryl." 

-"Okay." 

He looks worn out .

-"You got grey hair ."

-"Yeah." 

What are you supposed to say with the man you've always loved but haven't seen in months .

-"We gotta talk. "

-"I agree.You know any place where we can talk in private ?"

-"You sure you don't wanna get some sleep ?"

-"No.Let's talk." 

You followed him across the compound .You were both quiet ,probably trying to figure out what to say.

-"Listen..."you say simultaneously, causing each other to let out a nervous laughter. He scratches his head and you fold your arms while swinging around as if you are dancing.

-"Ace .I want you to know that I went after ya.I've been looking for ya all these months.Didn't stop.Not a day." 

You meet his eyes and say:

-"Listen Daryl .When I first went to the saviors ,I hated them .But they grew to be my family.And Negan..." 

He widened his eyes and hung from your words .

-"We were really good friends and he saved me on many occasions .He's a really good guy.All these people....Not all saviors are bad. "

-"When you say good friends ,what do ya mean ?" 

You bit your lip and responded :

-"I fell for him.We had a relationship and..."

-"You slept with him?"

-"Daryl." You say angered by his question. "That's none of your business."

-"You chose hin to be your first ?" 

-"Why the hell do you care ,huh?Besides ,to you I'm a kid,right?" You can tell he's struggling to give a straight answer. "See?You always do that .You always hide.At least he was man enough to tell me how he feels and do something about it." 

You look into his eyes ,expecting an answer ,something that will get you to undestand where he stands.

-"Good night Daryl."

He let's out a sigh and grabs you ,pressing his lips on yours. A few months ago ,your knees would fall weak on his kiss .You'd be out of breath and have the widest smile on your face.But nothing's the same anymore. You are not the same.You've been imagining your first kiss with him ever since you were a teen.And he chose to waste it during a heated argument as a proof that hes better than Negan.

-"I have feelings for ya."

-"It's too late Daryl. It's not the same anymore. I'm sorry." 

You turn around and go to find Jade ,while he's left behind ,contemplating what could have been or should have been.


	19. stand by me

You pick up your body and carry it across the Hilltop while Daryl is left behind ,standing still; engaging in any kind of conversation is the last thing you want ,yet it cant be avoided. 

Your eyes meet Rick's.An awkward vibe fills the air.He made mistakes and misjudged situations and people;so did you.

"I heard what happened.I'm sorry."He looks weary and beaten down. Some fresh bruises and cuts decor his face. 

"Got into a fight again?"You exclaim ,trying to lighten up the mood . He gasps and let's out a spontaneous laugh while scratching his bushy beard. 

"I think",he said pointing at your wounds, " we both get in trouble more than we should ."

"Well,Rick" said you dithering a little."In times like ours ,we do what we must in order to survive."

His eyes narrowed and his brows stuck out like bristles.

"Nothing justifies the cruelty we inflict upon each other.We are a rare species, aren't we?Think you know all about people and they can still surprise you at a pinch. But-and here he looked hard at you- I believe that despite all the hell we have going on, good will prevail. "

"I hope this whole positive attitude works out for you."You said ironically. 

"Don't play it heartless;you're not."

"How would you know what I am,huh?" There was a long silence.He stared at the ground for a few good seconds before responding .

"You know....I get it.I shouldn't have let you go like that.You were-he immediately corrected himself - are part of this family. I should have worked out something else." 

You wanted to stay mad at Rick;but you would have done the exact same thing. Maybe putting the blame on somebody else for how things turned ,for your choices -wrong or not - is easier.

" That's the funny thing about people.They feel drained inside ,as a weight rests on their shoulders.Isn't that the most chaotic irony;that we tend to feel the heaviest while we are so empty ?" You spoke out your thoughts hoping that Ricks response would somehow lift that burdain you've been carrying all this time.

"He really loves you ,you know "he said while nodding towards Daryl's direction who has been observing your interaction from a distance. "He's a pure soul.A very rare one.I don't know what you've been through ,or why you feel they way you do , but i know a good person when l see 'em.You and Daryl...You're both coming from that special breed of people. " 

"I've done terrible things "you sat down on a chair feeling the weight of your actions -and injuries - crushing your body. 

"You can make it up ." 

"It can not be unmade by your hands ,or by mine. "

"I know;but we can try." He placed himself beside you ,rubbed his kneecaps and said 

"He's waiting for you to go talk to him." 

"What am I supposed to say?Hey Daryl I slept with Negan who looks like the greatest asshole -but he really isn't - and I don't know how I feel about either of you ?" 

"Yeah..Maybe we should practise before you two talk." You broke the seriousness of the conversation with a heartfelt laughter. Daryl was peaking behind a bush ,trying to understand what you and Rick were talking about. 

"He's too good for me. He deserves better."

"Well" Rick said before leaving "that's bullshit and a coward move.In my opinion you're not a bullshitter nor a coward;be honest.He's a strong man." 

Rick paced away and Daryl approached you cautiously. 

"Ya talked for a while there." He said and his eyes lit .

"Yeah.We had a lot to say."

"So do we." You titled your head and looked at him.

"You're right;we do. Daryl"he interrupted "wait Ace.I gotta say somethin."

"I've known ya my whole life.When we were little you wouldn't leave me alone.I remember how you followed me to that bike race " you laughed and grabbed his arm.

" Well ,I had to.You were going to get yourself killed. "

"There I was ,an 18 old guy being chased by a 12 year old . While you were gone ,I replayed all the things we've been through in my head;and you're right.I treated ya like a kid;but not because I think of you less;I just wanted to keep you safe and unharmed form this shitty and fucked up world for as long as possible.I know I should have treated ya differently .I guess that's my alibi. All I'm trying to say is that Ive always loved ya.When you were 17 I remember looking at ya ;memorising the little details.Your laugh ,your hair ,your eyes ,your smile; that's what kept me going . " 

Daryl has always been a man of few words;this occasion seems to be the exception;one would think that it'd be easy to decide who to be with ; but it's not;in fact you're more confused than ever. 

"Daryl my whole life you've been protecting me and I'll always be thankful for that; these months that I spent away from you was the first time in my life that I got to depend on myself ;I got to stand on my own two feet without having someone to carry me;I got to make choices and feel the consequences ;you can't protect me form the world anymore ." 

He scowled and responded :

"I know I can't;but ill sure as hell keep on tryin.Don't beat yourself up.You don't have to decide anything yet." He picked you by the hand and led you inside the mansion; the dining- room was bare except for a table and some chairs ,but there was lots of food;more than one can find nowadays. 

Rick stood aside with his arm wrapped around Michonne's waist while draining his glass of red wine. You took Daryl and went out for a sniff of air ;a glimpse of the stars ;

"Let's not be grown ups for tonight.Let's be kids again;care-free and hopeful." You said and he nodded affirmatively.


	20. Down so low.

You sit on the wooden steps of the house with Daryl; he looks at you and grins;all of a sudden,his arm is wrapped around you and you can't help but tilt your head and smile back. 

"I can't believe I haven't noticed all this time." You say and Daryl stares back at you confused . 

"The sky, dummy " you explain and he raises his eyes . 

"What about it ?" He looks even more confused;you can't blame him . 

" I haven't noticed how bright the stars are;I guess with the whole end of the world thing we did some good to the environment. " 

"You kiddin ,right?I mean we fight for our lives and you think of the planet ? I knew you were a hippie but you got the timing wrong " you interrupted punching his arm playfully .

"Now that we have to fight for our lives , we appreciate the little things; we get attached to people and take nothing for granted .Is it wrong that I like the way things are now ?"

"Nah , I get your point .Not many would though; You see-and that's where he pointed to Rick and the rest of the group that was gathered a few feet away from you- they didn't live the way we did ;they had happiness ,or whatever that thing was;they had families and happy little moments;they had birthday parties and vacations and presents ;someone to hold them and keep them safe ; to them ,this world is hell.To us -he stared down and then looked back at you - it's how things always were. " 

" To be honest ,I've always been jealous of them; of normal people ; living their perfect little lives ; it's not fair how we didn't get a chance to live that."

"Ace...We did.We do;you ,Merle .... you are my family;you're more than I could ever ask for.Maybe our lives were messed up ,but we had those little precious moments;we appreciated the good stuff cause we've seen the bad ;more than we should ; point is , we grew up to be good people when we had every reason not to." "

"I see the apocalypse loosened your tongue;you speak more than you ever have." 

"Well ,I had to.These people dont know me .With them I have to speak more than I want to make them understand who I am.If we were together from the start I'd probably throw a few glances,instead of words ." You laughed nodding in approval . 

"Daryl..I haven't asked but I was wondering ."

"Yeah ?"

"What happened to Merle ?" 

"I ... " he scratched his head and continued. "We were at the backyard ;Merle was talking to this junkie ,trying to sell him some pot and then all of a sudden this guy comes out of nowhere and bites his neck; We got separated at first cause we wanted to find you and Maria;she was at the hospital cause her water broke;I went over your place but I didn't find you. I thought I lost all of you;Merle somehow spotted me on the highway ;I took his bike and when he saw me he yanked my neck and started crying.He found Maria dead ." 

"So how did you end up with Rick and the rest ?"

"That's a really long story."

"Well...Time is all we got ."

"Okay.Uhmm...Rick was stuck in a hospital and found us later through Glenn;Merle didn't like any of them; he just wanted to survive ;he was a stupid asshole who got himself killed"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothin.He's gone...Just...gone." Your fingers got tangled with his .

"So..You and Negan." And just like that your palm jerked away from his;you felt torn ;confused; you were hurting yourself and two men who you loved and loved you back. 

"Daryl...Listen ..." lots of voices distracted you .

"What's going on there?Should we go?" You can tell that some strangers have arrived . 

"Yeah ,let's go.They're friends .No ,more like allies. "

"Against whom? "

He gave no answer; he didn't have to. Once Rick's group clears the way, it's easy to tell who their "allies" are. 

"The wolves."you breathe out and find your body frozen ,unable to move. Rage takes over ;your heart rate rises and you start hyperventilating. Your reaction is mild compared to theirs. Alpha notices you and narrows his eyes before screaming:

"YOU" His pointy finger turns the attention of everyone on you. "MURDERER.GRAB HER " In a matter of seconds knives get pulled out ,people are screaming at each other and mostly at you.

"I'M THE MURDERER ?YOU COWARDS;SENDING OUT YOUR RATS TO AMBUSH AND KILL US. " 

"ACE." Rick's steady and strict voice silences both groups. 

"Listen Alpha.Ace is family.You touch her-a breath is now separating them - I kill you.Is that understood?" 

Alpha threw a glance at you filled with despise and hate;it was mutual and had it not been for Rick ,you would have probably gutted him.

"You want us to work with you ? How can we trust you when you're protecting her ?" He couldn't have stressed out the her part more.

"You're no saints.Thats right.She told us what you've done." Rick stopped to take a breath and added: " What are you doing here this late ?" 

"There's been a fire at the saviors compound." 

You widened your eyes and approached the Wolves. 

"What fire?Speak god damn it ."

"We didn't start it."Alpha's son responded.

"Then what the hell happened ?" 

A beta stepped in ,with the permission of Alpha , and explained: "We were hiding in the woods ;counting the guards at the gate;finding the blind spots; we heard gunshots and then an explosion ; the whole place got lit .We run and told our group." 

"WE HAVE TO GO HELP THEM." 

Rick stared at you as if you've escaped a mental institution. 

"THERE ARE SICK KIDS THERE ;PEOPLE WHO CAN'T FIGHT BACK.LET'S GO."

You were marching back to the house to get ready;grab a few guns ,ammunition and the keys for one of the cars;as you look behind your shoulder,nobody is following you. They just stare at each other without exclaiming any words.

"FINE .I'LL GO ALONE.YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES. " 

"Ace wait.Im coming ." Daryl.Out of all the people in the Hilltop ,you were hoping that he wouldn't volunteer; but of course he did;that's who Daryl is;but making him take you to the compound of the enemy to save the guy you have feelings for is too cruel; why deliver such punishment to such a good person ?

"No.Stay.I'll take one of the Wolves. "

"You crazy ?they wanna kill you.I'm not letting you go with them."

"Daryl. "

"I'm helping you save him.Let's go ,before its too late. " 

"You sure ?"

"Yeah.Now let's go."

"I'm coming with you just give me a second to get packed up.You could really use a good shooter ." Carol said with a cocky smile on her face . 

"I'm coming too.My katana won't make any noise." 

"Im ready.Let's do this. " Rick said to everyone's surprise. 

You throw the key over to Rick who would be driving Carol and Michonne ,along with one of the Wolves (to show you the way to the saviors compound) while you'd be riding on Daryl's bike. 

Is it too late?Is Negan alive?


End file.
